I just want to be alone

Me and JoAnn went as pink ladies to the squadron party

Today was the Halloween part at Matt's squadron. It was fun but I hated that all of us were without our husbands. I mean all these spouses are going through what I am but seeing that we are all alone makes it suck sometimes. Specially when 10% of the squadron didnt deploy.. you have those spouses show up with their husbands looking all happy and really you want to scream" ITS NOT FAIR!"  Even though you know that well hun the military life just isnt fair. Well this weekend is Halloween. Saturday is trick or treating on base and parties galore.. well honestly I dont want to go to any. In fact to be truthful I think I am just going to lock myself in my housing starting right now until Monday comes. Im going to only come out for a quick walk around the neighborhood with the other spouses while they take their kids and I will take my dogs trick or treating then Im heading back home turning the lights off and crawling in my bed to pretend like Im not alone on yet another holiday. I know Halloween is such a small Holiday so I shouldnt be sad but seeing all these complete families together when Mine is in Iraq just sucks. Then it makes me think how he is going to be gone for Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years. Im ready for it to just be over with. I had a dream last night that they moved up their return date to the first week in January. That made the holidays bearable knowing that right after they would be home. But I woke up and snapped back into reality quick. What a great Christmas present that would be... to hear my husband is coming home sooner the planned. I can only dream..