Hes Coming home right?

So why is it that I miss him more?? Arent I supposed to stop being sad and be happy because I can see it. I can see the date, its almost here! I miss him more then I did yesterday and more yesterday then I did the day before. I am an emotional roller coaster. One second Im happy Im giddy and antsy, I cant sleep because Im so excited. Its so close we are making plans counting down the days doing our last this and last that before he comes home. The next second Im crying, I miss him, my heart yearns for him. I miss his smell, his kisses, his touch.. gosh I miss his touch. Then I feel nervous. Nervous to not be alone anymore, nervous to have to take care of someone else.. but the nervous feeling doesnt last long before Im back to feeling giddy or sad. I can feel it, I just know that the second I see him step off that plane and we are embraced in each others arms once again for the first time in over 6 months I will just let it all go.. all the stress of everything I have gone through. My surgery, each sickness, each doctors appointment, moving, money, cars, dogs, family. Each task I took on alone that should have been taken on together. And Im embarrassed to say the anger. The anger toward him for wanting to deploy and the anger toward the military for making him go, for taking him away from me for far too long. The time I needed him, wanted him the most. I will let it all go. I will be crying because Im happy and thankful that he is home,that he is safe, but I will be crying because I can just let it all go. I dont have to do it anymore, not alone at least. He is home and we will be a couple again. Growing as a couple, taking things on as a couple. And that is something to cry tears of joy over. To being with the one you love, the one god made just for you, so you dont have to face things alone.

Its true, that deployments will make or break a couple. Weather your dating, engaged, or married, It will make or break you. This deployment made us. We mate it through the hardships of everything and came out a better, stronger couple. That right there is something to be proud of.

       Dear Deployment: We kicked your ass!