Last night I was extremely sappy... It started with my phone running slow due to the insane amount of pictures I had on it. So Matt was saving the pictures to my computer and dropbox. I wanted to have some pictures on my phone still, so I was going through each one I took and picking the ones I had to have. This goes back to when Matt got home from his last deployment. A majority of those pictures were of Mj..baby Mj..my sweet sweet little baby who isnt so much a tiny baby anymore. There were so many pictures of him so tiny. He was seriously no bigger then my four arm..sooo tiny!! Now he is double that size. All I could think about is how much I want my little baby back. Dont get me wrong I am in love with this stage, besides the teething and fit throwing in the commissary of course, but he is growing too fast. I know in a year from now I will look back at this year and think OMG he was so tiny....
My son is seriously my world, as each child is their parents. MJ will be our only child. We havent made the final decision where I will go get 'fixed' yet but we know that this is what we want. We just want to wait a few years before we go to drastic measures to make this true... just in case. Thats so me, going and getting surgery to insure I dont have any more babies and then so sad because I wont have any more. Not because I wanted them, but because Im almost 25 and dont have that option anymore. Just the option.
I have been reading this book How do you Tuck In A Superhero? By Rachel Balducci GREAT BOOK about a mom raising 5 boys and a baby on the way. 5 boys can you imagine!! I cant, but I can imagine 2. Two little boys, mommas boys, a house of 3 boys.. that sounds nice doesnt it?? Her stories are horrifyingly sweet... I would love to have to two sweet boys wouldnt that be fun? Im thinking this as I look over at MJ as he gives me an evil smile, a 'you didnt see me grab that dog food smile' as he slowly puts it in his mouth..where does he learn this stuff??? Yea two boys that would be sooo fun.. but seriously the idea is nice..sweet. But thats just not for us.. Not the cuddling with two sweet boys part. The traveling and dealing with Matt not being home because of his crazy new schedule and going from basketball practice to soccer or whatever activities they do. I stress..thats just me. Yup I know it. Then I think about how much I love MJ and although I know I could love a second child just as much, I dont ever want MJ to doubt that. I know he will grow up and love his brother so much but what about that first year when he doesnt get whats going on?? Ugh too sad for me. Mothers do it all the time.. 1,2,3,4,5 more children. Bless your heart.. but for us thats just not in our future.. AND what if it was not a boy... oh please do not get me started on if we had a girl. Grey..grey hair instantly..before she was even born. Grey doesnt look good on me.
So for now I am just going to sappy over my precious toddler and hope these years dont go by too fast because this is it. Its our first and our last of each of these things. Please dont go by too fast! Except the parts where I find my stuff in the trash can, or toilet, or buried in the dirt outside..those things I can do without...
My son is seriously my world, as each child is their parents. MJ will be our only child. We havent made the final decision where I will go get 'fixed' yet but we know that this is what we want. We just want to wait a few years before we go to drastic measures to make this true... just in case. Thats so me, going and getting surgery to insure I dont have any more babies and then so sad because I wont have any more. Not because I wanted them, but because Im almost 25 and dont have that option anymore. Just the option.
I have been reading this book How do you Tuck In A Superhero? By Rachel Balducci GREAT BOOK about a mom raising 5 boys and a baby on the way. 5 boys can you imagine!! I cant, but I can imagine 2. Two little boys, mommas boys, a house of 3 boys.. that sounds nice doesnt it?? Her stories are horrifyingly sweet... I would love to have to two sweet boys wouldnt that be fun? Im thinking this as I look over at MJ as he gives me an evil smile, a 'you didnt see me grab that dog food smile' as he slowly puts it in his mouth..where does he learn this stuff??? Yea two boys that would be sooo fun.. but seriously the idea is nice..sweet. But thats just not for us.. Not the cuddling with two sweet boys part. The traveling and dealing with Matt not being home because of his crazy new schedule and going from basketball practice to soccer or whatever activities they do. I stress..thats just me. Yup I know it. Then I think about how much I love MJ and although I know I could love a second child just as much, I dont ever want MJ to doubt that. I know he will grow up and love his brother so much but what about that first year when he doesnt get whats going on?? Ugh too sad for me. Mothers do it all the time.. 1,2,3,4,5 more children. Bless your heart.. but for us thats just not in our future.. AND what if it was not a boy... oh please do not get me started on if we had a girl. Grey..grey hair instantly..before she was even born. Grey doesnt look good on me.
So for now I am just going to sappy over my precious toddler and hope these years dont go by too fast because this is it. Its our first and our last of each of these things. Please dont go by too fast! Except the parts where I find my stuff in the trash can, or toilet, or buried in the dirt outside..those things I can do without...
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