Red Friday

I know I have a lot of new military wives who started following me, along with seasoned ones that do not know what Red Friday is So I figured I would write a short blog with a little background info on it!!

First off the Yellow 'Support our Troops" ribbon

The “Yellow Ribbon” is a physical representation that was adopted by Americans in the late 19th century in show of support and pride for the US Military. Today you will see that yellow support ribbon in all sorts of places. Someones car, someones home, or a special organization will use it. They all aim to show recognition as well as provide assistance for those who have served in Operation Enduring Freedom or Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Red Friday

Groups have advocated the wearing of red on Fridays, in an event known as Red Friday, to show their support for all members of the armed forces abroad, regardless of the circumstances under which they were deployed. Other groups wear red on Friday to support or oppose wars, specifically the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Either way they are supporting our deployed troops.

Remember Everyone Deployed

Although both of these have a meaning, each person who represents them has their own personal meaning for doing so. Of course my husband is in the military so I support him, and our troops 100%. As for RED Friday I have been there, with the deployed husband and M has been that deployed Airman. Either side of it is not fun. I want to always remember each and every military member wherever they may be, especially those downrange. Not to mention I love it when I mention the name, RED Friday, or someone notices I wear Red on Fridays and then have to explain it is. It opens peoples eyes and slowly we will see more and more people showing their support for our troops. Even if you do not believe in the war, these men and women are sacrificing their own lives, in the US and out, to insure the freedom of each US citizen. I believe we need to support them always.

What Easter Bunny?

Do you ever wonder what goes through a childs head when the holidays hit?? Especially the young ones like my son. They dont really know whats going on. All the dressing up and gifts and Easter egg hunts and seeing Santa and the Easter bunny... its all for the parents really. We want to have memories of our children during these..thats a joke!! We really just want to relive our childhood again and we finally can!! We have kids!! But really its all for the kids. I took MJ to see the Easter bunny on Tuesday. Of course, as we waited in line, he had no idea what was to come. Now hold on just a second. Let me take you back to December. We were in wal-mart and they were doing free photos with Santa. Free?? Ok! We just wanted to see what MJ would do and get our free picture, we would later get him dressed up and go to a mall and do it again. He was starting at Santa waiting his turn not really getting what was happening. We set him on Santas lap..all is well. Until he looked at Santa right in they eyes and Santa said "HO HO HO" yup that did it. He turned back to me and started freaking out. What did I do as a worried parent??? Told the lady to take the picture anyways because it was hilarious haha Mean Mom.. Come on look at the picture below and tell me that this isnt one for the scrapbooks. We ended up taking him to the mall while visiting Colorado and tried again. It was during a week day so no one was there to see Santa so we were able to take our time. This Santa was just great with him. I sat next to them and Santa went through a Toys R Us add with him to help get him comfortable with the idea of sitting on this stranger with a white beards lap. It worked great. I was able to sneak away and we got a great picture!! You never would have guessed that just 3 weeks before it was the same kid!!!

Now back to the Easter Bunny. I dont know about you but the idea of it freaks me out. Come on a giant rabbit dressed in clothes??? Hmmmm But hey the kids love it.. most of the time. Again we were standing in line waiting for him to get back from his break, which might I add that he was late coming back from..how rude :). As he walked past MJ stopped and stared. He didnt really get what that was. He watched as the kids infront of him piled on the Easter bunny's lab for a picture one by one. The kid infront of us ad to go and ruin it for us..she started freaking out of course... in the end she was fine. MJ seemed a little worried at this point. Matt took him in while I took the stroller around to the exit. Matt set him down on the Bunnys lap, it was fine for a second... Until MJ realized what was going on. Matt quickly turned and grabbed a plastic Easter Egg, which was pink so he decided to choose a different one of course, and proceeded to hand it to MJ...All is well in my childs world now... He calmy sat on his lap for the duration of the time while the Photographer took pictures.. even flashed a few of his lady killer smiles at them. What a ladies man. All because if this little Orange Egg MJ forgot all about the Easter bunny. You thought this story was gonna end bad didnt you?? Like him screaming and throwing a fit Santa all over again... nope it went well!!! We had fun.

We will have to start all over next year because Im positive he will forget that everything was fine when we sit him down on Santas lap...Hey while I think about it why dont they have a giant Turkey for Thanksgiving??? A little much???

Unspoken and Spoken Military wife 'rules'

 I wrote a post a few days back about how I have been noticing young military girlfriends and wives using bad language and such. I came across a site about military wife etiquette and thought it was appropriate. 

Now remember we dont have 'rules' per say but we are expected to act a certain way, in a certain situation. Is your etiquette up to par??

"Life in the military world is full of challenges. While many of these challenges are faced by the one who is serving, military spouses also have rules, both spoken and unspoken, that should be followed to reflect well on the military member." 

 The mens rules while in uniform..a must know.

PDA

Because members are required to maintain professionalism in uniform, PDA is typically frowned upon except in certain situations. For instance, moderate kissing and hugging is acceptable when there’s a homecoming or deployment. Even if it wasn’t allowed during homecoming, I know no one would be able to enforce it!

Hands

Regarding your spouse’s hands, there are a few things you should know:

• Pockets: Despite the multiple pockets your spouses uniform, service members are not allowed to keep their hands in their pockets. You might not cause them to break the rule, but you can help by keeping an eye out to remind them.
• Handholding: Military personnel are not allowed to hold hands while in uniform. Males may escort women, or help the elderly but affectionate handholding is a no-no. Some spouses have mentioned locking elbows with your spouse is an acceptable practice, so check with your specific command to determine your installation’s rules.
• Right Hand: Your spouse is required to keep his or her right hand empty in order to salute at any time. That means your spouse may need some assistance when carrying heavy loads.

 Walking
Walking is not a complicated task, but service members in uniform have to pay special attention to a few rules.

• Eating/Drinking: Service members are not supposed to eat or drink anything while they are walking. While driving, it may be acceptable depending on where you’re stationed.
• Cell Phone: One wife posted to a discussion on MilSpouse about her surprise when her husband said he couldn’t call her on the phone because he couldn’t stand still. Then she learned he was simply following a “no walk and talk” cell phone rule.
• Left Side: When you are walking somewhere with your spouse, be sure to walk on their left side. Otherwise you may get in the way when they need to salute.

 Other Tidbits
Some rules are not always clear or enforced, while others are more of community-enforced guidelines. Here are some to consider:

• Smoking: There is a lot of variation when it comes to the regulations of smoking. Some installations don’t allow it at all in uniform, others may allow it while standing, and in some instances it’s permissible at all times. Be sure to learn the protocol of your area.
• Gum: It may be considered unprofessional for your spouse to chew gum in uniform.
• Sharing Uniform: Your spouse may get in trouble if photos of you or others are seen wearing their uniform. It may also be considered disrespectful for spouses to wear PTs.
• Umbrellas: There is still debate over the umbrella rule across the different branches. Often, uniformed members are not allowed to carry an umbrella. In some cases, females are allowed to carry one as long as it is solid black.

 Fraternization

One of the most controversial subjects among wives is rank. The best thing to remember is that your husbands rand is his and not yours. He earned his rank, you did not. In the same respect the military does not mandate the activities of wives. There are many myths about wives of higher ranking military members not being able to associate with wives of the lower ranking men. This is not true. We can associate with whomever we want.

Obligations 

You should never feel obligated to attend military functions such as retirement ceremonies, going away, promotions ceremonies and more. During a time of deployment you might want to involve yourself in some of the events in order to stay active and involved, helping you feel less alone. Remember we are all here for you.

Capabilities

One of the main roles of a military wife is to handle life at home while her husband is away for a long period of time. For this reason, wives should make themselves aware of all financial dealings within the household. Always make sure you have a General Power of Attorney for your husband while he is away so that you have the authority to act on his behalf on all legal matters. A well-informed wife is a valuable asset to her military member..always..

Discretion

Finally, you must be discreet about any information you are given regarding any military matter, be it official or personal. Wives are often given deployment dates and locations and even information on missions. This type of data should never be repeated to any other person, under any circumstances. This involves developing a way to communicate with your family and your husband's family without hurting feelings or revealing any information. Make all of these people aware in person that you cannot share information with them. You should also keep from discussing such matters with other wives. You don’t know what their husband has chosen to tell them already. You don’t want to risk getting your husband in trouble for telling you something others do not know.  



Remember OPSEC Here is more on that http://pinterest.com/pin/243405554832925425/

 Walk on the left side to make it easier for your military spouse to salute a higher rank with their right hand. REMEMBER YOU DO NOT SALUTE ANYONE..EVER SILLY LADY!

Learn recognize ranks and the proper way to address them.

Always RSVP when asked and write thank you notes.






Just remember to always be polite. You never know who the wife is next to you. You want to represent your military member the best way possible at all times!!

I wrote this blog fast!! Sorry for errors and how unorganized it is!

PCS tips

This is a list of PCS tips put together from different military spouses. We all have been through a PCS or are about to. Each time it is stressful and annoying, for me. Take these tips read them, save them, re post them, or add to them!! It doesnt matter how many times you have PCSed I guarantee you still can get advice.

Have zip lock bags for the screws and such when you take furniture apart. 

 Label the ziplock bags as to what piece of furniture it came with. Even tape them to the legs or drawers of the items.

 Take pics or video record your expensive items (TVs, Computers) ON so that you can prove they worked before the move. Having a newspaper to prove the date helps if you don't have a date stamp. Also, document serial numbers. 

 
If possible have them load what you will need first, last. So that it is the first box or boxes to come off the truck. One lady used different colored duck tape for each room. Made it easier for movers to know which room the box goes in. I signed my name over tape so we could tell if it had been opened or retaped. 

  Keep all your personal and PCS records in a large binder lock it in your car while the movers are there so it doesn't accidentally get packed

  They will pack EVERYTHING, even trash.

 Make sure they aren't putting wet stuff in with dry stuff.

 Check your microwave and dishwasher for food/left items. Organize junk drawers. They will literally take the whole drawer and dump it into a box. Super annoying to unpack a box with a whole bunch of little crap. 

 Take pillows, blow up beds, pots and pans so you don't have eat out every night while waiting on your stuff. Maybe even take a shower curtain with you or expect to buy this. Sometimes you get a house but they can't deliver your stuff that same day

 When leaving Hawaii we couldn't take our spices with us so be ready for that. Movers usually can't take opened cleaning supplies, liquor, Aerosol cans... 

  A month or two before you PCS start purging junk that has accumulated. It makes for less clutter when you move and when your belongings arrive. No need to have excess stuff that you don't use/want.

  pack the stuff your going to take with you and put in a seperate room or car so they dont take it. Make sure you block off this area and post a sign DO NOT PACK 

label cords (tv, cable, computer..) so that you know which cords goes to what. I learned my lesson from making a bag full of cords only to get where I was going and couldn't remember which cord goes to what

 
take pictures of bigger things too so when they are reassembled they are put back together right and so movers know how to put them together. We have a corner desk that we had to figure out how to put together because the German movers didn't know how to assemble so we had to do it...

  I wash all of my linens, curtains,towels etc. and place them together. I also do the same things with knick knacks, small appliances and pictures. I also take apart the lamps. I'm a big believer in pre staging so things stay together which makes unpacking easier.

 Make sure you have all the important things. Birth Certificates, SS cards, bank cards, checks, etc! We forgot to grab the check book and it has been in storage since January!! 

  prepare to be there all day while they pack. We planned on leaving that day but it took them from 9-6 to pack everything without stopping.

 We took all dvds...cds...laptops..personal papers and what not with us. Our moving company packed our already packed boxes in boxes we also had to take all candles..light bulbs and ANY liquids with us. Some foods they would not pack. They had high value item stickers they put on our high priced things.

 If you have kids, make sure to get recent copy of shot records. Make sure to have that along with their birth certificates with you when you travel so you can register them for school as soon as you get to where you're going.

 I would gather good friends to help you watch the movers. There were only 2 of us and 4 movers. Needless to say items came up missing.

  make sure they pack all the things you want them to take. cause I did a walkthrough with them and they still ended up leaving a whole bunch of stuff behind

  start saving a little. Moving is expensive and while the government reimburses you, you might be strapped for cash until that money hits.

Get animals shots and vet appointments taken care of a month or so before you leave..even if you are PCSing to the next state, its too stressful to remember to get their shots right after you move!

 
Orders: Everyone who needs to know about your move will want a copy of your orders.So Make about 10 copies

Feed the packers and movers!! Pizza is fine. They are there alll day and maybe even two days they get hungry!

Get an expandable pocket folder to keep your paperwork sorted and all in one place. Regardless, of whether you are moving yourself (military talk = DITY or PPM)or the military packs up your household goods and moves you, it is best to diligantly save all your receipts. 

Every service member is entitled to at least 90 days of long-term storage. Know the rules and requirements. For example, make sure the JPPSO (Personal Property Shipment Office) has a valid address where they can contact you. Failing to do so can cost you $$$.

 Think: Overseas move. Not all overseas locations have generous size housing. Research how big your future quarters might be and consider this when you arrange your shipping.

 Double check orders! Take a close look at your orders. If you have dependents does it say: “Dependents: yes”, or “authorized to move household goods “with dependents”? If not have the orders amended. Military makes mistakes..dont panic

Pre clean. We all need to clean..if your base housing inspection is fristrating. Pre cleaning can make for that final out cleaning less of a hassel.

 

Dont stress. Things are going to go wrong..they always do no matter how organized you are. Talk with your SO and family and make sure your always on the same page!

Again I know there are tons more So probably a part 2 will come one day. Please add in the comments so Ic an add your ideas to Part 2!

Waiting. Planning. What does that even mean?

2 things that never go together... military life & planning a fellow military wife on twitter couldnt have said it better. I think that this is a perfect topic to cover today.. well always but mostly today. Everywhere around me People are waiting. Waiting to see their SO come home from a deployment. Waiting for a TDY to end. Waiting to PCS this summer. Waiting to hear where they are going, even though they know they ARE going. Waiting for orders that might not even come. Do you catch what is going on here??? Waiting?? Yup you guessed it. that my friend is the word you need to identify, learn, and say often. Its something you will hear too often. You wait. You sit at home, wherever that is, and you wait. That is what us military spouses do . We wait. Come on now you should be good at it by now. Now read that again. I said good at it.. that doesnt mean we are not impatient, frustrated, and a little tired of waiting.. Lord knows I am.

How about 'I dont Know' Yup another thing you need to learn. Isnt it frustrating to hear that..I.DONT.KNOW.. I hate when Matt comes home with news, only half of the news of course, of an up comig deployment or TDY or PCS or traning exercise and you ask a question only to have him say 'I dont know' What do you mean I dont know?? You have to know!! Nope, nope he does not. The military is great at this. Dates change. Orders Change. Everything changes. Oh and dont think that because he said he would be home this week..that it wont get pushed back another week or two. Dont think that because his deployment is supposed to leave Saturday, that it wont get moved to tonight. Yup it happens. Its happened to us. I cant tell you how many times Ms last deployment times changed. He is on the deployment, he is off.. no he is back on. Nope off. Wait its the week the deployment leaves and he is back on!! Then oh they leave next week.. Oh no wait they leave tomorrow. At 9pm..on the way to drop him off at the squadron, get a call they are on standbye..come in, dont come in. Oh and did you see I mentioned PCS orders? Oh yea those change too. Especially with these budget cuts. I know too many spouses who have been ready for a PCS and it get cancelled that last minute..bummer right!? Just tell yourself this, I wont believe it until we pull out of the drive way. I wont believe it till his plane takes off or lands...

Ok another side of I dont know. You have family right?? of course you do, we all do, doesnt matter if we act like we dont or not. How many times have you talked to your family and they ask a million questions. When will he deploy next? Where too? When will he be home? What time and day EXACTLY? When do you get to PCS move , because we all know they dont say PCS, next? Can yall move home yet? When can he get out? What do you even say to those?? "I dont know" is all there is to say, because well...you dont. Of course they dont get it. How frustrating.. you are already frustrated that YOU yourself dont know whats going on but now to add on having to explain it to a non military member... yikes. Not that non military members are dumb, its just they dont really understand the military, hell I dont even understand the military. So ' I dont know' is just what we are told..and its what we tell others.

Planning.. if you are a planner FOR.GET.IT yup forget that. Im a planner. I plan...major OCD right here! I have a clean, organized house, and I know what preschool, kindergarten, high school, and collage my kids will attend. Yup MJ is 1... see I plan I a military wife..I should know that planning is not something that does with the military life. But I do it anyways..I know some of you do too. We need to have some organization in our lives right?? RIGHT! We plan..but guess what.. it changes.. yep, everything that I wrote above happenes and it changes. You are moving to Germany?? Oh that is awesome. Oh they cancelled your orders the month before and instead put your husband on this upcoming deployment that leaves in two weeks!! Oh Im sorry. JK that doesnt happen that often. Well it does but try not to think about that. OR do?? Plan to not have a plan.. Yep thats it.

How does this relate to my life, and maybe yours, today?? Well how doesnt it relate to a military spouses life?? No, but really. If you have been following me you know that M has got accepted into recruiter school. after having the same job in the Air Force for almost 8 years, he decided he needed a change. He was part of a squadron that deploys every year, a squadron and a job that he was just over. 3 years in Guam, 4 here.. he was ready for a change. So we looked at our options and recruiting it was!! After the long WAITING ( see there is that word again) period and application and interview process, he got accepted. Then we WAITED some more to get the list of open recruiter offices that he could choose from.. OHIO woow woo. We put two in Ohio ( both about 45 min from his family) and two in Florida..nice beaches..im there. Then we WAITED some more..ugh that word is overrated. You know what I did..am doing..because Im a planner of course.. I have a list of houses on my realtor.com app just WAITING for Matts mom to go look at as soon as we get the word of where we are going and when. We wont be by a base so it isnt just as easy as getting on the housing list,bummer. March 30.. that is the next milestone. March 30th we find out his class date for recruiter school. & weeks back in lackland TX..I bet its weird to be back at the same base as BMT.. haha  SO yaa March 30 ( probably not I bet they make us WAIT until next week). When we get his class date we know that we were given one of the office choices we picked, but we wont know which one, seriously?? Your gonna do that to me? I mean us of course... You know where we are going so tell me! Next milestone April 30. By April 30th our RIP will be in... we will know where we are going and our ANLTD yes!! FINALLY I can plan!! I can plan our San diego vacation we are trying to take before he leaves, I can plan when I am going out to look at houses, I can know where we are going to live for the next four years of our lives..and I can say that I DO know..something..I know something! Yes! I can plan! as much as you can plan, beaing a miltiary wife and all.

Do you get this post?? I know you relate! To those of you who are young and new to this life, take this post and read it..over and over. Get it in your head that you wait. You dont know, it changes, and you cant plan. Stress comes with the job. But you have a million other military spouses who are going through the exact same thing and are there to support you. Use those spouses... it can be the spouses right next door or a spouse you met on a wives page who ives across the country. They can help you.

Until then. Wait. (hehehe)

Be Classy NOT trashy

I have been on Twitter for a few years now.. I wasnt really active for those few years until recently. I would get on here and there and post every so often but the huge amount of tweets that would pop up on my feed were overwhelming so I would stop for months at a time. Well I got back into it a few weeks ago and am really getting the hang of it. I follow you you probably dont follow me, a creeper follows me, OH there is someone I know who follows me, more of me following famous people. Well a few days ago I came across a profile of another military wife, one whom I did not know in person. I am on military wives boards on facebook, not as much as I used to be but I am, so I figured why not follow her. Turns out she is part of this  #milSO 'clan' I came to find that there are a ton of spouses who get on twitter and post either as their self, as a military spouse, or as an anonymous one, one who post about being a military spouses and wants other spouses to follow her without giving her real identity. Safe for her I guess..not safe for me if she is a creeper lol JK anyways there are TONS of these women. Army, Marines, Navy, Coast Guard, Air Force..tons. I started following a handful. A few days pass and I am noticing most of these girls are either young girlfriends in high school or just out of a military man OR a young young young military spouse.They post about them being away in BMT ( awe thats cute) and missing their man. I have no problem with this. I was that spouses once so sad as my husband was away at BMT. Maybe I can be of some assistance to these young women. That would be nice. I dont mind reading their sappy post...until they start posting their random thoughts that do not have to do with military. For example: something about smoking a 'cig' in their room and not going outside cuz its too cold and she doesnt give a f*** what her parents think ( without the *** of course) or some tweet with another complaint using curse words..and of course calling some girl a B****! That for sure must be tweeted when your young!!! DRAMA Anyways, it makes me mad..it makes me sad to hear these things. I know I was like that once and I realize how stupid I looked. These women little girls are supposed to be turning into women, military girl friends or wives AIR FORCE girl friends or wives. Do you know how ugly you sound when you are cussing over a tweet o in person. So trashy sounding. So disrespectful. You are a military SO you need to be classy. Trashy girls attract trashy men..or friends.. Those arent the people you want in your life for the long run. I really hope that these young girls realize how ugly they are when they speak or act like that. Im not saying im perfect because we all know Im far from but I have learned a lot..and those of you who know me, know its A LOT! So I would like to share my past experiences in hopes someone doesnt make those.

REMEMBER LADIES WE REPRESENT OUR MEN NOW. YOU ACT TRASHY PEOPLE THINK YOUR MILITARY SO IS TRASHY.

Think before you speak!! or in this case TWEET!!

This by no means is directed toward one person nor is it meant to be mean. I just want you to realize how you sound and think about how you want to represent your man!

I thought you were sick??

Apparently with my toddler, being sick doesnt mean rest. This simply means, use the sick card when you want to be cuddled or want something, but when you dont, run around like a mad man until you cant breathe from the Croup. That is exactly what MJ has been doing the past few days. Although, he is feeling better, or so it seems from the lack of cough, he is still sick. I did not even have one day of rest with my energetic, sick, toddler. Here he is after being in Urgent Care at 4 am barely being able to breathe on his own. After having breathing treatments and put on ear meds AND steroid meds to help the swelling in his ear and throat go down. He is running around from one end of the house to the other, screaming, playing, throwing cars and balls down the stairs. It doesnt stop with him does it?

I believe my child is in the top ten most energetic toddlers ever..ok maybe not that bad since I DO still get cuddle time with him, on his terms of course. I am ready for him to really understand what I am saying when I tell him something, such as 'No Matthew you can not go run right in the middle of the basketball court during a live basketball game the second I put you down'. I want to enjoy these things again..but instead I am either holding a screaming wiggiling boy who is trying to get out of my arms OR running after him up and down the halls of the gym, or whereever we are, so that he can let out some energy.

Yesterday we were at Matts basketball game, now let me add we havent been going very often this season because the games are later then usual and MJ is so hard to deal with during them. Its half time. I put him down so he can wonder a little bit for the duration of halftime. His feet hit the ground and he is OFF. Off running across the basketball court to God knows where, MJ doesnt even know where. I walk quickly and follow him to insure he doesnt get in the way of the players by their bench. He turns and sees me, laughs, and takes off faster. This is a game to him! I hear people on the side of the court and in the stands laughing.. laughing at hime because he is cute? Or laughing at me because this boy  just plays me. This is my life. It consists of chasing a typical toddler boy every second of every hour he is awake, which seems to be alll day longg. There is an out. Outside is my out. I can sit in my backyard on the not so cold days and let him run or do what he wants. This buys me maybe 5 minutes until he is into something he shouldnt be. Like the dog poop he thought would be a good idea to bring to me in his bare hand. Oh yea that just happened. Ok lets try going for walks. This is awesome when he is in the stroller...but what good does that do me when Im trying to tire him out. So we walk without the stroller. Great!!! Until he decided to not hold my hand then its back in the house until he learns what is safe and what is not. Its not often we get to go outside because it hasnt really gotten warm enough yet but I do take advantage of it when we can. So until then what do I do??? My child needs an out.. he needs to be a boy. I watch him stare out our back window at the other, older, kids playing on the playground behind our house. He points to them. He wants out there. As much as I do not want him to grow another day I want him to be able to get out and play with those kids. You can tell he wants to sooo bad. My child is a boy. A typical boy. One who likes cars and sports and running around and rough housing and getting dirty. He is everything you think of when you think of a boy. Its scary. I see my future..it consists of worrying every second of the day. Doing laundry all day everyday because he can not keep one shirt somewhat clean for more then a few hours. Learning to sew because everything will have holes. My days of piece and quite are over. They were over the second I had a child, but now they are really over. To be honest. I wouldnt change it for a thing. This really is my CRAZY beautiful life.