Project Gratitude Day 14

I am thankful that we are so close to Matt coming home. He shipped one of his boxes home today! It will be so exciting to get it and open it and see his uniforms and stuff I have missed for so long.

I am also thankful for a day to relax do homework, play with the puppies, and get some things done on my to do list and then have no cheer practice tonight so I can start on the homemade chicken noodle soup for the squadron soup sale tomorrow.

Day 28:

A picture of something your afraid of.

Well I hate to put this but this is something that every military wife is afraid of.. you husband not coming home.

 Then on the sorta brighter side. Something Im afraid of everyday is for sure spiders.. I cringed just looking at this nasty picture

Ewwww

Project Gratitude Day 13

I am thankful for being done with my Government class and after writing other final I will be done with UOPX for good and back to going to just one school!!!

Also I am thankful for my wonderful husband who is so smart and helps me with so much in my classes because lets face it Im not the brains of the family

Day 27:

A picture of you and a family member.

Me and my momma when she was here to visit Matt the weekend he left.

Its down Hill from here. or is it uphill??

Well here we are the LAST part of this deployment. The very tiny little but that is left in this six months of hell the deployment. Now of course I cant give dates but as you will be able to tell by my post its pretty darn close!! So here I am making a list of things that must get done before Matt comes home. Now remember I moved into base housing after he left so he has yet to be in our home. So there is tons to get ready to insure he loves it since well this is our first home together! So my list goes on and on and of course it feels like I will never get it done, then I get started and get so excited that I do so much in one day that there isnt much to do to keep me busy that last week. Then of course that last week comes and I remember a million other things not to mention getting my personal self ready and looking hot for my man!! Oh and I guess I got to remember the mental readiness I need as well. I mean after all I have been on my own for 6+ months in a home he has never been in raising the children dogs on my own and all those fun things so yes of course I must prepare myself mentally! So here is my list of things to do for this last less then a month time left I have:

*Organize the closet 
*Make room for him in the closet
*Make Room in the bathroom for him :)
*Rearange the garage
*Unpack, wash, and put away his things he sends home ( woooo cant wait cuz this means its close!)
*Organize our dresser from when I moved and kinda messed all his stuff up ( sorry babe :0)
*Pick of poop from the back yard at the last possible moment because I know he will be out there with the dogs like alll the time
* Get him a new tire for his car
* Clean the house over and over so its perfect
* Give the dogs a bath nail trim the works so they are pretty for daddy
* Give myself a bath, nail trim the works so I can look pretty for daddy bahahah
* Tanning of course because Im a pretty white half Hispanic woman right now
* Gym Gym Gym Gym yikes!
* Get his favorite snacks in the house
* Clean Trail Blazzer
* Nails done ( maybe)
* reintergration meeting
* Make welcome home sign of course!
* Confirm his surgery which happens too soon after he gets home booo
* dont get fat :)
* Teeth whitening woo woo
* any squadron events or planning meetings that come up
* try and keep sane
* and of course keep all my spouses and parents Im in charge of updated on when they come in which will be crazy enough!!!

and this is all while taking classes and I believe my finals are right around there too.. Yikes!

BAHHHH thats all I can think of now but of course I know there will be a million I forget and freak to get done in the last minute before he gets home. Man oh man though a I excited!! Let the countdown being!!!

Project Gratitude Day 12

Today I am thankful for Nyquil. Im not sick but I needed something to help me fall asleep. Last night was the best nights sleep I have gotten in about a week, probably longer.

I am also thankful that the Cavs won last night :)

Day 26:

A Picture of Something that means a lot to you

This was right after we got engages so of course the wedding band isnt on it and I didnt feel like taking another picture :)

I would say My engagement and wedding ring mean a lot to me. That was something so wonderful given to me by my amazing husband which represents our love for one another. It is s beautiful

Project Gratitude Day 11

I have had a rough few days. No sleep due to nightmares and stuff.. So today I was in bed all morning and was really a mess. I finally got up outta bed because I needed stuff at the commissary. Well i threw my hair back barely but any makeup on and had my husbands sweat pants and shirt on so clearly I looked like a scrub. By the way I NEVER go out of the house like this ever. Well while at the ommissary an older man probably retired AF stopped me and said I had the most amazing dimples and we talked for a tiny bit then later on he came to me because he needed an ink pen totally tuned my day around.

So today I am thankful for the few old people who say things that brighten up your day. Thanks guy who ever you were.

Oh and Im also thankful for Ice cream.. that always makes a bad day a little brighter :)

Day 25:

A Picture of your day

Today is NOT a good day so honestly I will be doing nothing what so ever other then running to the commissary to get milk. I will probably move from my bed to the couch for a few hour to watch my DVR and then back to bed to be sappy lol
What better picture to represent being lazy other then this one!

LeBron at our old house

Military Spouses Friday Fill in

1. Aside from no deployments, what is one thing you would want to make the MilSpouse life “perfect”? That my husband had a 9-5 job not a possibly 6am possible earlier if he gets a call and he gets off maybe at 5pm maybe not if they decide to keep him hours later and possibly getting recalled through the night or weekends
2. Just how many peppers did Peter Piper pick? hmmm I have no idea
3. If you could have any career in the world with nothing holding you back, what would you do? Honestly it would be teaching if not a teacher a physiologist I would love to help people
4. Do you have a service oriented tattoo and if so what is it. If you don’t what would you get? I dont have one and prolly never will but if for some reason I did I would get two hearts intertwined in the middle one cammo one pink. If not that I would get dog tags wrapped around my ankle going down over my foot. But like I said I wont ever get one
5. Imagine a block of time has opened up in your busy day for you to take a class in anything you like. What subject would you choose?a foreign language

Project Gratitude Day 10

I am thankful for lavander spray and a decent nights sleep for once

Day 24:

A Picture of something you wish you could change

I wish we could be closer to family. Particularly closer to Matts family. I love my family dearly but I have never been super close to them not to mention my family is scattered across 3 states. Matt has always been so so close to his mother and the rest of his family. I would give anything to be close to his family and have our children raised so close to family. I know how much living in Ohio means to Matt. I cant wait till we are there for good.

Today is wonderful

Today is a wonderful day. Other then the fact I woke up to pee everywhere because well as I posted below Im a bad mom and didnt take LeBron out when I should have and the fact I lost my license plate in the car wash today is a great day! I took the puppies to the dog park, I paid for our Airline tickets and our deposit for out trip we are taking to Australia in April thanks to the wonderful wedding gift/money from my wonderful in-laws, I got a call from the car wash saying they found my license plate so I dont have to buy a new one yet again ( I have done this before same car wash I swear that car wash eats them), I called USAA to file a claim for the chip in my window and they are coming out the same day to fix it ( man thats service), I called the couch people to get it cleaned for when Matt comes home, did two of 4 final assignments, and am just having a good day overall!!! Not to mention my husband makes me so extremely happy that the littlest thing makes me smile and my heart pound. He is just so wonderful to me. He has a smile that can make my day a wonderful one. I love you honey. SOOOOOONNNN :)

Random Survey

I copied this from Mary and since I am 'patiently' waiting for my husband to get on skype soI can take the dogs to town after I figured why not!

I see: My dogs playing on the bed
I need: to take a shower :)
I find: That deployments suck
I want: My husband to come home from Iraq like NOW
I have: The greatest Husband in the world!
I wish: We got orders to Guam
I love: love, my husband, my family , my friends, and my life
I hate: people who lie
I miss: my husband for sure
I fear: of losing those that I love
I feel: lazy
I hear: my dogs growling
I smell: hmmm
I crave: chocolate covered strawberries
I search: for books on my new kendle lol
I wonder: if we will ever get orders outta here
I regret: nothing because my past made me who I am today

When was the last time you ...

Smiled?: when LeBron was nudging the bed so hard it shook because he wanted to play
Laughed?: same time
Cried?: a few days ago because I miss my husband
Bought something?: Monday
Danced?: Thursday Night at Vals
Were sarcastic?: alll the time
Kissed someone?: September well I guess I kissed Jaybird and viv last week
Talked to an ex?: i have no idea
Watched your favorite movie?: I dont have a fav
Had a nightmare?: almost everynight

A Last time for everything ...

Last book you read: Reading three weeks in Paris and Confessions of a Military Wife
Last movie you saw: film: Hostage
Last song you heard: Oh gosh IDK
Last thing you had to drink: water
Last time you showered: yesterday afternoon
Last thing you ate: Frosted Flakes

Do You ...

Smoke?: never
Do drugs?: nope
Sleep with stuffed animals?: no
Live in the moment?: I try
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no, I HAVE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND!
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Yes
Play an instrument?: Guitar
Believe there is life on other planets?: sure
Remember your first love?: yes
Still love him/her?: no
Read the newspaper?: sometimes
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: no
Believe in miracles?: yes
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: no lol
Consider love a mistake?: no
Like the taste of alcohol?: wine and margaritas
Have a favorite candy?: chocolate
Believe in astrology?: sure
Believe in magic?: ehh...
Believe in God?: yes
Pray?: yes
Go to church?: i use to
Have any secrets?: yes
Have any pets: the two most wonderful dogs ever
Do well in school?: I like to think so
Go to or plan to go to college?: I am
Have a major?:elementary education
Talk to strangers who instant message you?: never
Wear hats?: sometimes
Have any piercings?: yes
Have any tattoos?: 7
Hate yourself?: no
Have an obsession?: im sure
Have a secret crush?: no
Do they know yet?: ^
Collect anything?: shoes ;)
Have a best friend?: yes!
Wish on stars?: sometimes
Like your handwriting?: never
Have any bad habits?: yes
Care about looks?: yes
Boy/girlfriend's looks?: looking good sometimes matters but i love a confident guy
Friends and other people?: i don't care
Believe in witches?: no
Believe in Satan?: its possible
Believe in ghosts?: i believe in spirits

Project Gratitude Day 9

I am thankful for my Mother and Father In Law who gave us a tramendious wedding gift that paid for out deposite for our Autrailia trip! I love you guys!

I am also thankful for the carpet shampooer they got us for Christmas since im a bad mommy and decided to not wake up and take the dogs out when LeBron clearly had to potty.    :/

Day 23:

A Picture of your favorite book


I really have a lot but I will have to say the Twilight books would for sure be ones that I loved.

I just got my Kindle in the mail yesterday and I am so extreamly excited to finish the books I am already reading so I can start on a new one on the kindle! I was totally against them untill I messed around with Vals. It is so awesome! I highly recommend it to anyone who reads!

Project Gratitude Day 8

I am thankful for my amazing bed. I got home last night from Montana and refuse to get out because I am so comfy.

I am thankful for days I dont have to do anything ( well besides Homework but Its not a must do today)

I am thankful for a husband who even though he is busy in Iraq he still finds time to email me as much as he can

Day 22:

A Picture of something you wish you were better at

Hmmm I would probably say I would like to know more about politics and our government. I dont have enough patients to care but would like to be able to have a conversation with someone about it lol

What a Military Spouse Knows

Written by a fellow military wife


As many of you know, my husband came home from our third deployment not too long ago. During the deployment, a reporter asked me to share “What I Knew” about deployments and military life. This was my answer:
As I forced my hands to unfurl from his neck, feeling the familiar sting in my nose as tears pushed against my will, the words rattled and echoed in my brain. “Not again.”
I watched him walk away–that uniform, identifiable gait—and my heart bent and splintered as the reality of a third deployment began to shower over me.
I picked up the phone, dialing the numbers my numb fingers always meander toward, and sat in silence while she tried to ease my pain. “I can’t imagine…He will be home….I’m here.”
And then she said six words that shot through my ears, penetrated my brain, and stiffened my spine: “You know how to do this.”
She was right. I do know how to do this. I intimately know the all-too familiar lump in my throat. The year of being both father and mother, making the best of a situation. I know exactly how one year feels  as I X each day off my calendar. And I know how to ensure that while our lives are on hold, we still live.
The truth is I know a lot:

• The thought of being alone for a year doesn’t bother me. The fear of being alone for a lifetime—does.

• Flat rate boxes can hold twenty whoopee cushions, four kindergarten projects, and five perfume-scented letters.

• Technology can be a double-edged sword—one side delivering his face; the other a brutal live-action feed of explosions and camouflaged body parts.

• Murphy’s Law is a constant companion. The moment he walks out the door, anything that can break, collapse, bleed, or explode–will .

• Five hours of uninterrupted sleep is a gift from the deployment gods

• Holidays are hard, but manageable.

• Deployments come and go, but sand from his boots never leaves.

• Nothing can replace a handwritten letter. Through those beautifully folded pages, he is holding my hand again.

• When the National Anthem is played, I know goosebumps will rise on my arms, and a lump will fill my throat.

• The silence in communication following a war zone attack is agonizing.

• Laughter is a powerful ally.

• Each deployment offers two options: grow or regress. This is a choice.

• Cereal is always a dinner option.

• Videos of lost teeth, ballerina recitals, and preschool graduations can be emailed to Iraq nearly instantly.

• Five powers of attorney and the intimate details of his will are needed to navigate a deployment.

• White out blizzards can actually bury a truck in five minutes.

• Rosie the Riveter was right: We can do it.

• Children cling to hope and the promise of tomorrow.

• Living in each moment together is possible when facing the fear that it could be your last.

• Welcome home kisses are sweeter than the finest chocolate.

• Anger will grip me and depression can hold me, but another military spouse will steady me.

• A six-year-old child can feel the absence of her father so deeply that she can suffer from clinical depression.

• A military spouse will often hold her/his tongue, silencing a story, for fear of sounding “unpatriotic.”

• The sound of a bugle can make my heart swell with pride or collapse in sorrow.

• Duct tape and a monkey wrench can fix nearly anything.

• Despite the protestors and those who tell me I “knew” what I was getting into, I know there are countless American citizens who will go above and beyond to show they support us.

There are many things I know.
I know how to change the brakes on my truck, rappel from the side of a cliff, shoot a double-barreled shotgun, balance a checkbook, earn my keep, and kiss a child enough to feel like two.
But there are still so many things I don’t know.

• I don’t know how to start my heart again when I see a death notification car on my street.

• When that knock echoes on the door of my neighbor, I don’t know how to forgive myself when I am relieved.

• I don’t know how to hug him enough to last a lifetime, or kiss him just so in order to feel satisfied—should our reunion be at the foot of a pine box.

• I’m not willing to learn how to pretend he doesn’t exist, to keep him out of our life while it goes on without him, or to build a wall so high he has no way to scale it.

• I don’t know how to stop his panic attacks, and I have no idea how to make my nightmares of rampant bombs and lifeless limbs disappear.

• I don’t know how to adjust to his presence in my house when our floor rarely feels the weight of his boots.

• I don’t know how to tell his small children that, yes, he leaves them all the time. But because he loves them so deeply, he is willing to die to keep them free.

• I can’t understand those who would question my desire to stay with him, or how I can peacefully sleep beside a “killer.”

• I am amazed and confounded that despite all he has seen, he still has the courage to laugh.

• I don’t’ know how to give up on my family.

But, most importantly:

The Author

I have no clue how to still my pounding heart when he finally walks through our door again, I don’t know how to pull my hands from his sand-stained neck and say goodbye, and I don’t know how to ever walk away from a man who stands while many choose to sit.

Project Gratitude Day 7

I am thankful for a car that can handle in the snow ( did I already say this?)

I am thankful for GPS

I am thankful for Vals dog Argus who played with my puppies alllll weekend so they slept in the car 90% of the trip from Montana

I am thankful for a beautiful home to come home to that I can call OURS

I am thankful for DVR which recorded all of my shows while I was in Montana!!

LeBron and Argus after rolling around in the snow

Day 21:

A Picture of something yo wish you can forget

This one is very personal so Im going to have to skip this day but there is some things I wish I could forget.

Project Gratitude Day 6

I am thankful for pain meds when my Endomitriosis pains hit ouch!!!!!

I am also thankful that bases have gyms that I am able to go to for free. Gotta look HOT!!!

Day 20:

A picture of someplace you would like to visit

I would have to saw Paris. Although I like to vacation somewhere near a beach for the most part, I have to see Paris.

Project Gratitude Day 5

I am thankful for my amazing husband who is so so good to me! I wanted a Kindle and I barley had to convince him to get it for me! It was pretty awesome!I am also thankful that I have a husband who never forgets to tell me how much I mean to him and how beautiful I am everyday at least once. He is pretty awesome

Day 19:

A Picture of when you were little


I think its sad that this is one of the ONLY pictures I have of me when I was little. The rest are stored away somewhere with my mom :(

written by my best friend..beautiful!!

A Prayer from Behind the Uniform

By Valerie Dye

�

Dear God,

As I lie here tonight,

I am touched by the depth of your grace.

Feeling these arms around me,

And hearing the steady breathing beside me

Awakens me to the precious gift you’ve given me.

God, thank you for this beating heart,

Beneath my chin,

Lulling me to sleep.

I know that each beat

Beats with a love for me

That only you and I can understand.

God, thank you for these rough, calloused hands,

Perfectly enveloping my own.

I know that the marks they bear,

They have borne for me.

God, thank you for the friends I’ve met along the way.

Thank you for them, for they understand my feelings.

They know that we did not sign up for this.

No, we were signed up,

Signed up the day our love swore an oath to protect.

We wait, we hold our breaths, we cry

So that others don’t have to.

We go months without his touch,

We go months without falling asleep to that heartbeat.

We go months without feeling the softness of those rough hands.

Thank you for giving me the strength to wait,

To understand the amount of time spent together

Does not define our love.

Thank you for the uncertainty,

For it allows me to fully appreciate these moments.

Thank you for forcing me to do alone,

What most others have the privilege to do with someone else,

So that I may become stronger,

So that I may make my love as proud as he has made me.

God, give me the grace to see that this is not for everyone,

And that that makes me no better than anyone else,

Just different.

Remind me that my struggle is unique,

One only to be shared with a select few,

And that even amongst those few,

That each struggle is different,

Each as painfully difficult,

Yet absolutely as worth it as the next.

Help me to never take these little moments for granted.

Thank you for the sacrifice he is making,

And for giving me the strength to make my own.

This steady beating heart,

It beats for you,

It beats for me,

It beats for us.

And for that, I am grateful.

Amen

Military Spouses Friday Fill in

This week’s questions are:

1. What is your favorite MilSpouse blog?

I have so many I follow but for sure my best friend Vals

2. What are your favorite perks about your s/o being deployed (we all know there are perks)?

Probably the extra money even though I find a way to spend it :)
Also it for sure makes me more independent.

3. How long did you date your before getting engaged? Married?

5 months!!


4. What do you think your would do if s/he wasn’t in the military?

hahaha hmm this is funny can I make a list?
Secret Service
Lawyer
Teacher
Sports Agent
Basketball coach
Track coach


5. If you could talk to the Secretary of (fill in your appropriate branch) what is one suggestion you would like to bring to their attention in order to improve the lives of military families?

Honestly this one is hard. I will bring up the topic of the type of people they let into the darn military lol This was brought up a few days ago on a website how some neighbors are so weird which then brought up those in the military who get DUI and party too much or hurt their loved ones. I know you cant change people but thats scary to think I could be living next to one.

Thats all I can think about for this question because Im horrible with politics and military issues.

Project Gratitude Day 4

I am thankful for internet since my phone is roaming here in Montana and I cant use it. Also I am thankful I dont live somewhere that it snows so much like here in Montana lol

Day18:

A Picture of somewhere you hope to be in the future

Well I cant find a picture of this so I will just tell you where I hope to be. I hope to be in Ohio living in the house Matt and I built with our children teaching knowing that my husband will be home every night and that I never have to worry about another deployment.

Since I cant find a picture does that mean I fail this challenge? lol

Project Gratitude Day 3

I am thankful for a 'truck; that can handle the snow and that can make it as far as a 9 hour drive as well as dogs that arent super crazy on a long car ride.

I am also thankful for My best friend Val and inviting me into her beautiful home.

Day 17:

A Picture of something that has changed my life recently

That would be my dogs because I dont think I would have been able to get through Matt's deployment without BOTH of them! I love them.

Plus side of the Military

So Tomorrow I leave for Malstrom AFB in Montana to go visit my best friend Val. So I was sitting here thinking to myself that is one plus, a major plus, of being married to a man in the military. You meet these people, some you dislike, some you like but forget when you move, and some you will never forget. There is always going to be those few that become life long friends at every base. Those you stay in contact with even when you guys are across the world. Soooo because of this you always have a place to stay in the many locations the military is stationed. So if I want to just go make a trip to Montana or Las Vegas to Guam or California or whatever its nice to know I have friends there! I am so excited to see my best friend after almost 2 years! yikes! But we are still closer then ever.

Project Gratitude Day 2

I am thankful for frosted flakes. Man oh man do I love them lol
I am also thankful for Military Insurance ( although so many people complain about Tri-Care) I am always able to call and get in when I need to and get my FREE meds it really is so wonderful.
Also I am thankful for my beautiful home. I love love love my home. This is one of the only reasons I dont want to leave here just yet.

I cant wait for Winter to be over and my grass to be green again!

Day 16:

A Picture of someone you look up to.

most MILITARY SPOUSES specially those who have been by their husbands side for o many years. These women are such strong women. They have gone through deployment after deployment and tdy after tdy, packing and moving too often, fundraisers and squadron events, they learn to put a smile one their face and move on with their day while their husband is off fighting for our country and they do it with such pride. That is the type of military wife I want to be. God bless Military spouses!

This isnt a Picture of anyone I know Just thought it best went with the post

Dog Shows

You know Im bored when I post 3 blog posts before 8am :)

So Tuesdays are when Law and Order SVU marathons are on like I mentioned in my project gratitude below. Well the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show decided to rudely interrupt my marathon for an hour or two booo!!! Anyways my reason for this post is because well I am too lazy to find the remote to change the channel so I am sitting here watching this dog show. While watching I am listening to these announcers describe these dogs when they come out all proper and prance around with their owners ( who look very silly by the way) while staring up at them the whole time waiting for their treats. Anyways these announcers are describing these 'origins' of these dogs as they come out and I find it very funny when a hunting dog comes out or a working dog or whatever. This is because do you HONESTLY think these show dogs have ever hunted or 'worked' in their lives?? No way. I bet they dont even sleep outside. These owners spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on beds and collars and grooming and everything. This dog is no working dog!! So my point of this is these dog shows are absolutely ridiculous lol. Now dont get me wrong if you know me you know my dogs are pretty spoiled, but I also dont flaunt my dog around saying oh yea he is a hunter when really he will probably never go hunting during his life or sleep out side or anything. lol silly dog shows!

Project Gratitude Day 1

I read on a blog somewhere that the one way to be happy is to sit and think about one thing you are thankful everyday. You can write it in a journal or whatever you decide. She wrote hers in a journal and tried to keep up with it on her blog. Well I think this is a great idea. These can be serious funny or whatever you are feeling thankful for that moment or that day.  So here I go with


                        Project Gratitude

Project Gratitude Day 1: I am thankful for Law and Order SVU Matathons on Tuesdays when Im not teaching and dont have much to do for most part of the day.

I am also thankful that SOME days my dogs like to be lazy.


Go ahead and try it!! I think this is awesome and an be kind of fun!

 

Day 15:

A picture of something you want to do before you die.

I want to live over seas for at least a year. We are trying to get orders to Guam which really would be amazing.

Valentines Day while your husband is Deployed

yayyy thats how my Valentines day is this year. Not very exciting lol My husband did surprise me with NBA league pass at 2am in the morning though so I was extra excited about that. Also just when I was getting sad seeing all the couples and hearing about their plans I check my mail and my husband sent me a Happy Valentines Day letter. It came just in time which is pretty hard to plan when its Free Mail coming from Iraq. Sooo my day consist mostly of Homework and getting some things ready for my Trip to See Val then my Cheerleaders had a game tonight. Im still getting over my allergic reaction from Saturday so Im not feeling myself. But tonight will consist of Oreos and Wine for dinner. Should be a good time right? Well Happy Valentines Day everyone!!

Day 14:

A picture of someone you cant imagine life without.


I honestly can not imagine my life without my husband. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. I dont know how I made it in life without him. Now that I know what it feels like to truly be happy and to be loved by someone so much I never want to be without him. I love you Matthew Ryan Gainer. Thank you for coming into my life and being so wonderful. You have changed my life forever. I cant wait to be driving down the road at the age of 70 singing 'Remember When' holding your hand. You are my life.

My Amazing Husband

Day 13:

A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Well I like all types of music so I dont really think I have a favorite that I am absolutely in love with over everything. So I would have to say that I really like John Legend. He sings me and my husbands 'song' and I seem to always relax when I listen to him.

Day 12:

A Picture of something you love

Well this is a hard one. I could post a million things. I LOVE my husband, my family, my friends, my ring, my house, my dogs, food, basketball, the beach, and so much more. So I guess I will post something that currently is on my mind!!!


Shoes!!!!! I lovvveee shoes. I am obsessed with shoes :)

My shoes Im wearing at Matts Homecoming!

Must Reads

Im not really the type of person who reads alll the time. Really I go through phases. I will being going through something in my life where all I want to do is get a book and sit down and read and do nothing else really then I will go for months without ever looking at a book. Also Im not the type of person who starts a book and has to finish it even if its not that good. I have to be really into the book, Like way into it. Im a very picky reader. I like to read books that I can relate to in some way. Maybe not 100% relate to but books about military spouses, or something I might one day go through or have gone through in the past. Right Now Im reading Three Weeks in Paris. Now I have to admit this book goes through Phases. It tells a story about 4 women who attended an art school in Paris and now are returning back for their teachers birthday. When its talking about each individual I love it. Hearing their stories of back when they were in their early 20s and who they are now and there are sex scenes very detailed sex scenes. Lets admit my husband IS deployed so I seem to enjoy those a little too much. But when the book starts talking about their teacher and stuff I tend to not concentrate as well. But It is still a good book and I do plan to finish it. Along with that book I am reading Confessions of a Military Wife a MUST READ if your are a military wife. The Author is an ex military wife/ comedian/ author. She shares her stories as most military spouse books do but this one is a little bit of a funny twist. I find that it always cheers me up when Im having a down day. Below are some others I have came across that I just love and would consider must reads!

This will make you cry for sure but I love it

This book is awesome!

Day 11:

A picture of something you hate.

That would have to be being lied to. Or someone breaking a promise. If you cant be truthful of be honest that is the worst thing. Specially in a relationship if its your husband or your best friend or another family member.

Do non-military families really understand?

I want to post part of an article I read on the Spouses buzz website

"As for outside understanding from non-professionals, it’s very frustrating when you’re trying to work through an issue and people offer advice without having any meaningful understanding of the situation, even when they mean well. Personally, as I’ve stated before, I don’t think civilians can ever have a real understanding of what military families deal with. It’s not their fault, this just happens to be a lifestyle that you have to live in order to appreciate the joys and challenges that come along with it. For me, when I receive simplistic-sounding advice from people who don’t understand the range of emotions that one experiences during a deployment, I tend to brush it off or ignore it. Sometimes, I’m not in the business of seeking advice, I just want to talk to someone who understands. That’s when I turn to my military community for support because they are the only ones who truly get it."

This is such a huge topic when you are a military spouse. You look at your civilian friends those you may have had for your whole life who you though where always there for you. Then you look at those who are also military spouses, those you probably just met but haven been through more with you or been there for you more then those civilian friends. Those are the ones we turn to. We often find ourselves turning to those friends who we probably just met and not our life long civilian friends. We pull away from our civilian friends because well lets face it they just dont understand. I know I have done this. I have pulled away from almost all, if not all, of my friends whom I had before I married into the military. Not because I dont love them but because we live two different lives. They dont get why I pack up and move every few years or why Im do what I do. They dont know what to say when your husband deploys because they have never gone through it. So I find myself only asking them about their lives the life I once had and understand and then its usually only a one sided conversation because they dont ask about yours. Then eventually that gets annoying on your part and you stop talking at all.I even find myself not going to family when it comes to the military. Even they dont understand. I just went through a scary experience during this deployment that I wouldnt dare to pick up the phone and call Matts family or my own. So I found myself calling my best friend, a military spouse, one who understands. This is just how it is really. I dont think Im better then them because of what MY husband does or what WE go through.. we just dont have anything to talk about. And a one sided relationship gets old fast. Not to mention I want someone who understands me!! I mean isnt that what friends are for? To lean on each other? not a one sided relationship.

I believe this will forever go on... the argument of what a civilian does or doesnt understand.. well that was my opinion.

Day 10:

A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.


Well that one is easy. Miss Ericka Paulson. This girl has always brought out the crazy side in me. Although SOME nights were fun, I regret most of them. Thank goodness that is not my life anymore. Ima good kid now :)

2008 Before we went down town

A Prayer for saftey

Dear God,

This prayer Lord, that I say tonight
Is for our troops who all must fight .
These are the troops that we all love
And so I pray dear Lord above
Please keep them safe while they’re away
And bring them home to us someday.

This prayer is not for ours alone
But for all military far from home.
I ask You to keep them safe and sound
On their way to where they're bound.
We love them all that are asked to fight
So keep them safe for us tonight.

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Protect them as they protect us.
Bless them and their families for the selfless acts
they perform for us in our time of need.


I pray that the lord keeps all our troops safe and brings them home to their loved ones soon including my husband. Today was scary. I just pray that he is always safe and happy and comes home to me soon.

I love you Matthew Ryan Gainer and just like I told you, You have kept every promise to me thus far you sure as hell better keep this one.

Day 9:

A picture of the Person who has gotten you through the most.


That would be my husband Matt. He came into my life at one of the hardest points, when I was going through so much. He has always been there to support me and help me through whatever I need. If Im sad he cheers me up, if Im mad he makes me laugh I love him so much. I honestly dont know what I would do without him.

On his way to Iraq 2010

Val and I in Texas 2009

Now another person who has gotten me through so much would be my best friend Val. She is the other person I go to for everything. I dont kow what I would do without both her and Matt.