Almost there

Well Christmas is FINALLY over! I know thats sad to say right? I have been waiting for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years to be over since Matt left. One because the Holidays are just gloomy without him here, and Two because it meant that this Deployment is almost over. When it hit that half way point it didnt feel like it was half way with the Holidays and such just around the corner. I wanted to make it to January 1st. That was my goal because it seemed like after the Holidays it will be all down hill from there. Im really hoping thats the case. I hope that January flys by and then Feb. should go by fast because it will be nothing but working, working out, and getting ready for Matt to come home in March. Of course we wont have a date till days before if that but knowing that I can say its next month, or even better, this month is gonna be a great feeling. Not too much longer please go by fast!!!!!!!

Bring Him Home Santa

If Only I could get the one thing On my Christmas list this year :( I miss you Matt. Wish I could wake up to you next to me Christmas morning.

He's wonderful

I really do have such an amazing husband. I know I say it so often sorry if it gets annoying but he is my world honestly. Im proud to be his wife. He puts a smile on my face when im down makes me laugh when Im stressed. He is so good to me. I know and trust that he will do anything and everything to take are of me and our future children. Man he is going to be such a great father. I can not wait to see his face the day we get pregnant, then when we have our child, then everyday after that. Its going to be truly amazing, it is truly amazing. This life with hi is truly amazing. The past hour all I can think about is him coming home. I will want to just run and jump on him. Legs wrapped around him kinda jumping. Is that appropriate? Probably not lol but boy is that what I want to do. Its gonna take a lot to keep from doing it. Thinking of that day he comes home in March puts a smile on my face and if just for a moment makes the day easier to bear.... I love you baby and cant wait for you to come home... the countdown is getting smaller!

Sad to say Im missing Cali very much

Surf Beach

Im having a sad sad depressing day. Its making me miss California. Its making me miss Lompoc and Santa Barbara. I had a friend of mine .. i would call them up when I was down and say " lets go to surf" they would drop everything and we would go.. they wouldnt ask or say a word we would just go.. we would walk for miles in the water or just sit until i was ready to talk or not talk.Surf Beach is the one place I can go to that makes everything go away... even if its only for a little while. It was truly amazing. Not the best looking beach no but it was quite, no one was aloud in the water so there werent many people there. The waves where bigger then me. They would crash down and make such loud amazing sounds. Around 6pm was the most beautiful time. Seeing the sun set behind these huge crashing waves. The sight and that sound made everything go away. I would walk for miles along the water where only my feet would get wet, or I would sit up by the rail road tracks with my feet dug into the cold sand and just watch and listen. We didnt have to talk unless I wanted to. If I was alone it was nice to get my thoughts straight. I want to go back there.

Cause I've Been waiting for you, So long So long

Hello world,
Hope your listening
Forgive me if I’m young,
Speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
And I think they could be
The better half of me
In the wrong place trying to make it right
And I’m tired of justifying

So I say to you
Come home come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
So long for so long
And right now there is a wall
Between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything I see
The world ain’t half as bad
As they paint it to be
Father sons, mother daughters
Stop to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides
And the love can begin
And I might start now
Or maybe I’m just dreaming out loud

Until then
Come home come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
So long for so long
And right now there is a wall
Between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home

Everything I can’t be
Is everything you should be
and that’s why I need you here
x2

So hear this now
Come home come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
So long for so long
And right now there is a wall
Between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home

A military wife's life is easier than you think. All you have to do is accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, bear the intolerable, and be able to smile at anything.

Sad Thought

I follow a blog written by a young military mom and widow. I have followed it for quite some time now.. prolly almost a year. She is a woman who said bye to her marine husband about a year ago while she was pregnant not knowing that this would be the last time she ever saw him. I have read her post and in a way watched her go through this struggle. I have read her post and although I havent been in her shoes I feel like I can feel her pain. She is so detailed. Today I read a post from her that was written just a few days ago. It talked about how that day was the day she said goodbye to her husband.. the day he deployed. The last time she ever saw him. That post really got to me. I know im not supposed to think about things like this and i believe Matt is more safe then many other military members but we just dont think about that. We dont think that when we say goodbye to our husbands the day they deploy that this could possibly be the last one time ever that we see them. We take things for granted really. When they are here we take advantage of them or argue or whatever, then they deploy and we realize those things we do and vow to not do it again, then they get home and after the 'honeymoon' stage we start all over, untill they deploy again. Its like a vicious circle. Buttt we dont add in there that what if they dont come home? Then with all the hurt and sadness we wish that we hadnt have done any of those things EVER!! We just dont think about the what ifs really. Well I know I dont.. or didnt untill today. Like I said I believe Matt will come home but there is that what if. For just a second today I put myself in her shoes. I pictured my last day ever seeing him and my last week and our last fight... then you think about all the thing you wish you could do over.  So I know that its almost impossible to not argue or have your bad days or whatever i mean we are only human, but fro this day forward I really am going to try to not argue about those stupid things, to make every day perfect. Because what if it really is our last? I dont want to live with regrets. So Im gonna start making memories more then ever, take more pictures of us, laugh a little more. Because those are the best times.. the times we wont regret.

Tomorrow is the big day

Tomorrow is here and Im dreading it more then anything. I have never had a surgery in my life and to do it without my husband by my side is killing me. He is the only one who can calm me down and ease my nerve, he is the only one I want by my side and there when I wake up. Im going to die when I wake up and not see him there. It has been a hard week. All I think about is how he wont be there, he cant be there. I dont want to do this.. I cant do this without him. Tonight is the night before and it has finally hit me the hardest that I have to do this without him... ughhhhh

My Life Long Plan

When I was moving I cam across a list I made at the beginning of the year of my life long goals.. what I wanted to do before I die, my bucket list. Of course there was things that everyone wants to do like travel the world and blah blah but Im figured I would list some things here for you to read..

 Fall in Love

Get married

Build our own home

Have a child

Learn a foreign language

Change someones life forever

Go Skinny Dipping

Get my masters degree

Live overseas for at least a year

Become a Teacher

Go On vacation somewhere other the the US or Mexico

Help out the needy

I cant think of the rest now and there were some more personal ones... but I believe everyone should do this at one point in their life.. and dont just write it do it!!

Alone For Christmas

This is hard.. Going through a deployment is always gonna be hard. But for some reason this one seems like its going to be the worst one. He left me... a month after we got married. During this deployment I moved into our first house by myself, I spent Thanksgiving without him, I decorated our home for Christmas this year without him beside me, I will wake up on Christmas morning with him across the world, and I will go into and come out of Surgery without knowing he is here to take care of me.

   I have been doing really good lately. I have been keeping busy, being happy. But its been slowly coming back.. me being sad. Im terrified to go into this surgery without him knowing I wont have him by my side when I wake up. So terrified in fact I dont want to do it at all.. I tell my self everyday Im gonna wait, wait till he is home with me. I know I cant..... It breaks my heart that I have to go through something without him, alone... when I need him the most. Then I think about all the other things he has already missed or will miss. Thanksgiving wasnt Thanksgiving.. dont get me wrong I had fun but it seemed like just another night with friends not a special holiday because I wasnt with him or any family. Knowing that I will wake up on Christmas morning alone kills me... Its not Christmas with out him... I feel like I just want to take down all my decorations and forget its only 25 days away sometimes... and today is that sometime... I sat there looking into my living room staring at the lit up Christmas tree and the lights in the windows with dinner cooking... cooking for one... and it made me remember Im alone... that he is half a world away and we cant be together... I dont want to do this anymore. I would give anything to have him here to hold me tonight... everynight...

preparing for surgery

Well its the week before my surgery and I am busy busy busy preparing for it. I have to make sure my house is clean, there is food in the pantry that I am able to prepare, the dogs are ready, all my errands are ran, I have shipped out Matt's Christmas package, my cheer girls are set for Hillary to take over for a week or possibly two, and last but not least my finals are finished. So far I have gone grocery shopping and its Wednesday... Hmmm lol. I think tomorrow I will clean the house and finish up a few last minute things to put in Matts Christmas package before practice. Friday I have another Pre Op Appointment the an appointment in town then right back up to base to go to Bunco Night at JoAnn's since this is my last fun event I can do until Probably the squadron Christmas Party.. Its going to be a long boring week in bed and even after that I wont be able to do much. Hmmm I guess  I can catch up on books that I need to read, and I can watch every movie I own lol. And I will prolly blog a lot but how boring will my post be haha well off to do HW..

Australia

I am so excited that Matt and I have finally decided on where we want to go on our delayed honeymoon!!! We had talked about Cancun or a cruise but we finally decided on going to Australia! Matt is planning our trip to Australia in April as we speak! We will drive to California to take the dogs to my mos house so they can spend time with their grandma while we are off on our beautiful much needed vacation. Its so exciting to think that in about 4 months not only will Matt be home with us again, but that we will be in sucha  beautiful place relaxing with just the two of us. I can not wait!!! Let another countdown begin soon once we set the official date! I am just so happy. Maybe this vacation will give us our last missing piece to our beautiful family :) Anyways I will keep you updated on the plans as they come about a little more.. And yes Im gonna brag because I have never done anything like this so I can lol jk jk It will be a nice little getaway for us two, then we will be home for a little before we head to Ohio to visit Matt's family and then home for a little again then off to Oregon to watch my brother Steven and Kim get married and see my family! Lets just say March, April, May, and June will be 4 amazing months. I can not wait!!

Hes wonderful

I have been going through medical issues that effect both myself as well as my husband Matt. I just wanted to thank those who have been there for me sine Matt is so far away but I also want to thank my wonderful husband who has done so much even when he is half a world away. Baby your words have helped me get through the worst days. We have a long road ahead of us and no matter what the outcome I have the most wonderful husband standing by my side. Our vows never meant so much as it does right now. I love you Matthew. Thanks you for all that you do.

That is the most amazing feeling in the world, to love someone so much
and to be loved by someone just as much. I am one of the few
lucky people that has met their true love and gets to spend the rest of
my life with him.

 I truly love my husband. He is just wonderful and I cant say it enough!! 

Love you baby

Happy Veterans Day

Happy Veteran's Day to all those who have served or are serving in the military including my husband who is currently in Iraq. Thank you for your service and sacrifice!

I am so proud of you baby.. Be safe and come home soon

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.  ~Elmer Davis

Love this commercial Im hooked :)

My FB Wall Post to my husband :)

Dear my wonderful amazing most awesomest husband ever

If you make me go through the whole Basketball season without Dish's NBA League pass so I can watch every game Im going to die. You wouldnt want a death on your hands would you?

Love your amazinly awesome wife

 

Feeling the Love

Well my husband is sooo amazing and so Im feeling all giddy inside so here...

....

Its going to be a long road to recovery...

A night to forget...

Last night I invited the spouses over for dinner and game night. It was a night to relax let lose and forget how much we miss our husbands and how much we hate this deployment. I think its been getting to all of us. We all have seemed to lock our selves away in our homes away from people. We havent really gone out for a while. So last night was good for us I think. We barely even played games we just sat and talked. About anything.. it was really nice. The only communications I have had for a week is my dogs and my students.. and lets just say talking to the dogs isnt enough and I cant vent to my students lol

Everyone has their own way of letting stress out and relaxing. Mine is either to cry or the gym. I have been living at the gym. Everyday I go and every day it helps. It gets me out of the house and well of course helps my look great!! lol I dont know what I would do without the gym. Its becoming a life saver this deployment. This weekend Im relaxing. Im tired, its cold and next week will be a busy one with Key Spouses meetings, spouses event, doctor appointments, and hopefully teaching. So for now Im relaxing :)

Teaching

Well I have been out of the classroom since last semester. I took the vet job for the summer and took longer to quit that then planned. Well Im finally getting back in the classroom tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be teaching 2nd grade at East elementary as well as Thursday. The first time I ever taught was at East, it was PE. Actually I hated it. I will never teach PE again lol sorry baby but thats your deal. Well since then I havent gone back to that school. I mainly was at North Elementary and I loved it there. But anyways back to East tomorrow and the grade I want to teach when I graduate! So Im extremely nervous. I think that if I was back to teaching at North my first few days it wouldnt be so bad. I know that place and those people like the back of my hand. Well like I said Im nervous but Im so excited. I know when I get back in there it will be like riding a bicycle. Im in love with teaching so everything will be just fine. I just wish Matt were here when I got home like he was last year so I could talk about my days with him :( thats the only non exciting part of this.

Things I love

I love my husband, cuddling with my dogs Maui and LeBron, watching movies, kissing in the rain, walking along the beach, cooking, watching Matt play basketball, messing on the computer, meeting up with friends, teaching, snowboarding, watching sports in person ad on tv, going on walks, shopping, Cleveland Cavaliers, the gym, animals, traveling, family, kissing my husband, Ohio State, Christmas time, most of the time the military, LeBron James, Chocolate, When my husband isnt deployed or on TDYs, wine, the leaves in the fall, the smell of candles, daisy's, BBQ's, When I catch Matt staring and smiling at me, God, dreaming about having kids, hot showers, boat rides, going out to eat, tanning, being lazy, getting mail, chocolate covered strawberries, when Matt sings to be in the car, playing the guitar, staying in on Halloween night, taking pictures, texting, being in love, meeting genuinely nice people, coaching, Stay with you by John Legend, diamonds, running,music, playing tennis, walking the dogs with my husband along the river and watching LeBron play in the water while princess maui looks at him like he is crazy. I love my husband my dogs and my life. I am truly blessed and continue to live and learn and as long as Matts by my side while Im doing it my life will be perfect :)

Halloween!!

Passed out in their costumes after a long night of trick-or-treating 

while waiting for daddy to get on skype

Well lets start off by saying Im not a big fan of Halloween. I ususally order a pizza or cook something italian rent some scary movies and relax and of course Hocus Pocus is a must. Last night was trick-or-treating for the base. It actually was pretty fun. I got the puppies dressed up in their costume then took them over to the Rabers house. They got to play with all the other dogs before heading out to go trick-or-treating with the kids. They looked sooo cute! Oh and the kids costumes were cute too :) It was a fun but long 3 hour walk. It was nice to get out of the house and be able to take the dogs. Then we got home and waited around for dad to get on skype so he could see them in their costumes but they fell asleep and he never got on :( It was actually a pretty decent night. Well today is actually Halloween but it doesnt feel like it. There will be no trick-or-treaters so I took the few Halloween decorations I had down and put up the fall decorations. It makes me excited because I know that when I get to take these ones down it means that the Christmas decorations are doing up, we are another month and holiday down, and hopefully only 3 away till Matt comes home! Today is going to be pretty relaxing. I went to the gym this morning homework sometime today and then movies and of course Hocus Pocus and pizza! The only thing missing is Matt. Thats ok one Holiday down another week down and another  month down. 4 to go! Wait its only been two months? Yuck lol This month needs to fly by!

I just want to be alone

Me and JoAnn went as pink ladies to the squadron party

Today was the Halloween part at Matt's squadron. It was fun but I hated that all of us were without our husbands. I mean all these spouses are going through what I am but seeing that we are all alone makes it suck sometimes. Specially when 10% of the squadron didnt deploy.. you have those spouses show up with their husbands looking all happy and really you want to scream" ITS NOT FAIR!"  Even though you know that well hun the military life just isnt fair. Well this weekend is Halloween. Saturday is trick or treating on base and parties galore.. well honestly I dont want to go to any. In fact to be truthful I think I am just going to lock myself in my housing starting right now until Monday comes. Im going to only come out for a quick walk around the neighborhood with the other spouses while they take their kids and I will take my dogs trick or treating then Im heading back home turning the lights off and crawling in my bed to pretend like Im not alone on yet another holiday. I know Halloween is such a small Holiday so I shouldnt be sad but seeing all these complete families together when Mine is in Iraq just sucks. Then it makes me think how he is going to be gone for Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years. Im ready for it to just be over with. I had a dream last night that they moved up their return date to the first week in January. That made the holidays bearable knowing that right after they would be home. But I woke up and snapped back into reality quick. What a great Christmas present that would be... to hear my husband is coming home sooner the planned. I can only dream..

Profile Picture

Just to warn you this is prolly gonna be such a lame post!! Well I was sitting there the other day going through my Facebook pictures and really wanted to change my profile picture as I usually do every week or so. Now I could have done two things.. pick one picture of just me to go there, which I wouldnt dare to do because I miss my husband too much for him not to be up there with me( lame I warned), or tow put one of the pictures of us that I have probably had up a million times before. I hate this. I hate that we arent taking new pictures and making new memories of us. I hate that he is making his own 'memories' as lame as Iraq memories can be, and I am home making my memories and all we can do is talk about them over the phone next time we get to talk. What about making them together? Thats what we should be doing, specially since we are 'newlyweds' and all. I would really like him home thanks!!! The Holidays are coming near and I would kill to be spending them with him. I have been thinking too much about what its going to be like on Thanksgiving day or waking up on Christmas morning without him.. that sucks. Im waking up alone!! Wait a minute I thought when you got married that was part of the deal. I didnt have to wake up alone on Christmas Morning. I thought that I wouldnt have to do the dishes by myself after I cooked and amazing dinner on Thanksgiving? I guess The getting married handbook is different then the getting married to the military handbook.. I should have read the fine print I guess. Here we are only two months into this deplomyent and they are already setting a date for the next one.. How does this work. mind you it wont be till the First part of 2012 and the 726th actually gets to be home for Christmas finally but still!! Im just hoping one of two things happens. 1 Matt makes OSI first try and we can say goodbye to 726th and Mountain Home AFB before 2012 hits ( although I will miss my 726th spouses dearly) or two The next deployment ( to Afghanistan might I add) will stay the first part of 2012 if not be pushed back even more.. lets hope and pray for the first one though.. With my luck something will happen with OSI and the deployment will be moved to November of 2011 ugggghh.. Such a negative Nancy lol alright Vent over!

What have I done?

Thats it this deployent has finally made me go CRAZY!! It has finally gotten to me lol.... well as you have read in a previous post I love love love music... it makes everything better. The sounds the lyrics.. specially with Matt gone. I listen closely to the lyrics. Anything that reminds me of Matt I just fall in love with. Its usually a mix of music a few weeks ago I was addicted to John Legon and now I am not too proud to say it but its Michael Buble! ahhhhh Ok some of his songs are totally cheesy but have you actually listened to some of his lyrics? They are truly amazing. Parts if not all of songs of his are what I love right now... I mean come on...

I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through


Ok well this one has always been one of my favs lol ^^^


All I do is dream of you
The whole night through
With the dawn I still go on
Dreamin' of you

You're every thought, you're everything
You're every song I ever sing
Summer, winter, autumn and spring

I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you
Of course this fits thats all I do is dream of Matt ^^^

Oh I know that the music's fine
Like sparklin' wine,go and have your fun
Laugh and sing,but while we're apart
Don't give your heart to anyone
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

All time fav of his <3


Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
If only in my dreams

Of course many have sang this but never really ment anything to me till I had to spend it away from Matt

Im really feeling him today lol well then I hear one of his totally cheesy songs or see his dumb music video and I cant believe its even the same guy lol

But that doesnt matter because I love him today! 

 

Are you gonna kiss me or not?

‎"Are you gonna Kiss me or not? Are we gonna do this or what? Look at all the love that we got it aint never gonna stop. Are you gonna kiss me or not"

 

This song makes me think of Matt our first kiss all all that we have been through. Many its crazy to see where we are after all that we have been through. Im so happy. He is truly amazing. He continues to amaze me everyday. I am just so full of love and so happy. My heart is so full right now. I mean there is always room for a baby :) but he is away and that cant happen right now so instead my heart is full of love for my dogs and mostly my husband. I just dont know how to express how much in love I am with him. I also cant say enough how blessed I am to have him as my husband. Instead I will do everything in my power to make him happy, to support him in all that he does, to do my part in making our life perfect, and to love him with my whole heart and never stop. I never thought this feeling was real and someones true love existed but it does and I have it. i can vouch for true love.. Baby you are just so amazing. Thank you for being you.

Life

"when i was five years old my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. when i went to school they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up i wrote down happy they told me i didnt understand the assignment and i told them they didnt understand life" -john lennon

Top Ten Most stressful jobs in America

Top ten most stressful jobs in America: #4 Teacher and #2 Deployed Military.. then to add to that #1 is working parents lol Apparently my house is just full of stress.. then when we bring a baby into the picture watch out!! So what if your husband is deployed, your a teacher, and have children? Lets prepare now.. Yoga yoga yoga! lol Good thing Matt wont always deploy.. just most of the time lol

Distance

Saw this on  a friends page and fell in love with it. So true for what we go through..

"Distance means so little when someone means so much. It is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they care about. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."

Am I a Blonde?

Im really begging to question if I am a blonde or not. I know its totally not something to be proud of and no offense to you true blondes ( Val ) lol BUT a brunette who just does some dumb things should be made fun of in my book. Now I am really a smart woman. I have common sense. Or I would like to think so at least. Now you read my post about me locking myself out yea people do that a lot it was just embarrassing because It was my second day and thats how I met my neighbors. Now yesterday I tried to Mow the lawn. I borrowed my friends mower because Matt was just gonna get one when he got back and its one of those ones that ride itself pretty much.. well here is me trying to mow the lawn instead the mower is dragging me across the lawn pretty much... Yea Im over the whole lawn thing.. never again! Ok now here is todays blonde moment of the day.... Yesterday the power went out. Since then my Carbon Monoxide alarm has been beeping ever minute... yea I knew it wasnt going off so I delt with it. Well it was still doing it today so I called the fire department explained my situation told them it wasnt going off just beeping. They told me to go out side with the dogs and wait for them. Now its 8 AM and 30 degrees outside.. I look way dumb. Of course they show up with their big truck so embarrassing. I wasnt even in danger or anything! As they were leaving I had to warn them that for the next 5 months or more I will be prolly calling them for dumb things. He laughed and said " Maam its totally fine it happens all the time" but they prolly really wanted to say was " Maam I will be sure to put your number on the block list as soon as we return to the station" Man I need to figure it out!!!!

You know your husbands Deployed when:

1. You cook something one night and the leftovers are still there in the morning ( and in my case there forever since I dont eat them)

2. You know how to fill out a "customs form"

3. You only shave your legs when you think someone might see them

4. You get excited about "unknown" phone numbers calling you

5. You've exhausted every idea you could ever have about what to put in a box.

6. Your fridge resembles a liquor store and you suddenly find yourself accumulating wine by the case load (wooo woo )

7. You walk outside to get the mail and immediately run back in to get your cellphone

8. Your idea of "cooking" is microwaving a lean cuisine ( Ok this one totally isnt true for me... I have been begging people to come for dinner lol)

9. You enjoy weekdays more than weekends because you don't like watching other families

10. You lose all concept of time and/or day of the week, all you know is "x-ish" number of days until he's home

11. You go to the bathroom, in the middle of the night, with the lights out, and the toilet seat is still down.

12. You feel like you're "married" to one or more of your friends

13. You see a couple kissing in the supermarket and immediatly run to the tools section to find a sledgehammer...

14. You find yourself standing eerily close to strange men on the street just because they're wearing cologne..and you haven't smelled cologne in a looong time. ( ok this one is kinda weird but then again I did buy a sensy candle that smells like Matts cologne :)

15. You put a bag of trash on the porch and it's still there 3 weeks later

16. You know when the best time to go to the post office is

17. Your two major purchases each week are kleenexes and wine

18. You check your email every 15 minutes ( Please I get it sent right to my phone!)

19. You know what a "freedom 'stash" is...and secretly hate them.

20. You make friends with a bunch of strangers on the internet just because you're all going through the same thing

21. When listening to the radio you can change the channel quickly when you hear the first notes of certain songs that you KNOW will make you cry

22.You save messages he has left on the answering machine just to hear his voice at a later time

23.You think its funny when civilians complain about their husbands being gone for 3 days

24. You don't have to do laundry for 2 weeks- and that's with kids

My Oath for him

My Oath For Him.

A promise made,
of sincerity and truth,
to honor you with loyalty,
to wait for you.

We're miles apart,
you're a world away,
but my devotion abides true,
to wait for you.

Temptation's irrelevant,
I'm a woman of my word,
my creed is pure declaration,
to wait for you.

Day by day,
I recite my vow,
my own pledge of allegiance,
to wait for you.

You took an oath,
to serve our country,
mine is to you brave soldier,
to wait for you.

Hero to many,
love of my life,
stay strong and always remember,
I'm waiting for you.  <3

Back into shape!

So now that we are back on base and close to the gym I am starting to work out again.. well starting tomorrow :) I kept telling Matt oh Im gonna start again when you leave, oh Im gonna start now that we are back on base.. week its been like what 2 weeks since I moved in and I still havent gone? hehe woops! I have been so busy and tired. But tomorrow Im gonna run I think. We live in a nice little neighborhood and LeBron really needs exercise so If its not cold out tomorrow Im gonna go for a run. If it is cold I guess I will get my butt back to the gym. Im nervous. I havent ran in a longggg time. Its gonna be a struggle thats for sure. Now Im not out of shape physically. Well for me I guess I am. To others I dont look like it. But cardio wise I am very out of shape. So its going to be a long road back. But hopefully I have my cute little body by the time Matt gets home! Then after his knee surgery both of us are going to continue the whole gym thing. Not like he really needs it he is so darn active with allll of his sports that he stays in shape. So if you dont see me post for a few days or never again its because I died during my first workout in over 6 months lol. Wish me luck!

Fall over night

Now I didnt take this its just one of my favorites!

Fall is my all time favorite season in these states where there are no beach. Now When im by a beach I just want it to be summer all the time. Short skirts tank tops and sunglasses are amazing. But those states I have to live in that is too far from a beach, fall becomes my favorite. I love it when the trees start to change to oranges and yellows and slowly fall to the ground. When its a little crisp outside not too cold for hats and gloves but for a sweatshirt or light jacket. When I get to bring my cute boots and jeans out. When I want to cuddle inside with my husband and dogs. When its time to bring out the crock pot and cook stews and soups and roast. Where I get to come home from work and put on sweats, which now that Matt is gone its his sweats :). Fall is my favorite time of the year here. It just seems like Fall came over night. One day it was hot and summer then the next the leaves were almost Orange and Yellow and it was chilly. Just over night, just like that. it makes me sooo happy. Well besides the fact that I wish Matt were here to spend it with me. I miss you honey.

Typical Lab Puppy

Well LeBron is loving the fact he has a back yard that he gets to hang out in without me watching him or bringing him in right away. They get to hang out run and just do whatever out there. I forgot that he is a Labrador. I also forgot that he is 6 1/2 months old and is cooped up for a lot of the day in a kennel while im at work. So when I leave him outside what does he do? He digs. Now its getting cold outside which means wet. The lawn is always wet. He decided to dig a hole in the back yard and if that wasnt bad enough he decided to roll in it splash it everywhere then walk all over my patio. Again if that isnt bad enough he decided to paw my back door till it opened and let himself inside while housing inspection was here to tell me I need to take care of the house or we will have to pay for damage. Thank goodness I caught him before he hit the carpet. His bath took forever and it was hell. There was mud and hair all over the bathroom while my neighbor sat there and watched laughing at me struggling. So LeBron is grounded. He is not aloud to go outside and be left because I am not dealing with that again!

I miss him so muh it hurts

Have you ever missed someone so bad it hurts? I mean it truly hurts. Your heart actually hurts and it almost makes you sick to think about how long it is till the next time you see them. I miss him that bad. Most of the time Im fine. I go on with my day almost like he is just at work and will be home for dinner. Then I run out of things to keep my mind and body busy. Thats when It hits me. Thats when I sit there and think about him and how long its been since I last saw him and how long its going to be till I see him again. Thats when it hurts the worse. I look at his pictures and smell things that he left behind that I refuse to wash that just hang in the closet. Or I fall asleep with his sweatshirt on with a little of his cologne sprayed in the neck of it so its almost like he is holding me. Doing those things and seeing him in those pictures just isnt good enough. The nights its not good enough are the nights that hurt the worse. I am truly thankful for the times I see him on Skype and the times I get his phone calls or all the emails that I get I am but I want to be selfish. I want him here with me in our new home and with our dogs. I just dont want it to hurt anymore. 5 months cant come soon enough.

Hi Im your new neighbor

So as I have posted before Im totally loving this new house and living on base again. Its just so convenient and my house is friggen AWESOME as my husband would put it. Now I hadnt had a chance to meet my neighbors yet since I have been so busy with moving and working. Well today I was pretty much forced to go over there. Now I am a very friendly person. I love meeting new people and Im the neighbor that bakes yummy food to bring to the new person on the block. But this was under different circumstances. I was bringing everything in from the commissary and I hung my keys up on the key holder. Put the dogs outside shit the backdoor and continued to go back to my car through the garage. Now what I didnt know was that even though you use your key to unlock the door in the garage doesnt mean it stays unlocked! Soo I locked everything inside. My keys my phone everything. I checked the front door went to the backyard checked that and same thing it locks behind me. SO I walked over to the neighbors and did a quick introduction then asked if they had the phone number to the base maintenance  While they were looking for it I see my dogs running around the front SO I went to go but them back in and checked the back door one more time. Hmmm it opened after a few jiggles lol well I guess I didnt lock myself out. So I walked over there told them I found a spare key to save me from even more embarrassment and walked around again. Needless to say I learned my lesson to always keep my keys on me even if I think the door is unlocked. But on a good note they were nice neighbors lol

All In

Well I am all moved into my amazingly awesome house! I LOVE it. Its just perfect for us right now. I am so happy to come home everyday. My puppies are so excited they have a home with a fenced yard. LeBron is new to the stairs and he just loves them. He runs up and down. Then they get to go out side whenever they want for as long as they want. I am truly happy with the choice Matt and I made. Waiting another 5 months till he got home just wasnt gonna work for me. I am un packed and decorated for the most part. I just will be re-decorating the 2 bedrooms through out the next 5 months. Well needless to say Im happy.. more then happt

What he has done for me

I always hear these wives sit here and talk about all that WE give up for our husband and their career in the military. We move away from our friends and our family and for some our careers and what we know and love. Some nag and wine and think their husbands should be kissing their feet and giving them all that they want because of all that they give up on average every 4 years when they have to move yet again. I am not saying it doesnt suk because it does. Ya I would love to buy a house near our friends and our family and know that my kids will grow up with the same children all through school. No not knowing where we will be a year or two from now. What Im saying is that it doesnt seem like these military wives understand what our husbands give up for us! Im not saying all military wives are like this. Also I am not saying that I dont get a little selfish, throw a little hissy fit and bring up what I have done for him. But I often sit back and think about how he is giving his life for me, our family, people we dont know. He is leaving his family that he loves, all the things he knows and loves to go to a place he isnt familiar with and the people there hate him, to make sure we sleep ok. To make sure that he provides for his family. My husband has done so much for e our family, and the people of the USA. My husband, while being deployed to Iraq, still considers my feelings and tries to make my life as easy as possible. He makes sure I am taken care of and our bills are paid and I have money I need. He tells me to quit my job when it makes me unhappy and to move to a new house when he sees Im not happy where I am. All from across the world. I have an amazing husband. Although I have and will continue to give up so much for him when we move every few years he as done so much more for me. I love you baby.

Beat

I have taken on just too much this week... probably this next 6 months actually. I wanted to stay busy while Matt was away so I continued to work at the vet, am substitute teaching, going to school, am a Key Spouse for the 726th squadron, will be coaching track in the spring, coaching cheerleading starting in a few weeks, going to event after event for my spouses, including ESC meetings again and last but not least I took on moving into a new house. YIKES! Its only Tuesday and Im dead. My dogs arent sleeping at night which means either am I. Today I was up at base at 7:30 AM to get housing stuff delt with, then went home had a few to relax then headed to work and just got off. Tomorrow I work Open to 3 then need to come home and pack as much as Matt's stuff as I can including packing the car before bed. Thursday I get the keys to the house at 9a and have just enough time to run to the house to drop off the stuff I got loaded before heading to my doctors appointment. Then after that its back to the house to meet Cody and heading down to town to storage so he can take Matt's car up to the new house and put it on jackstands for me. I wil be running back to the house to pack more then heading to base unloading while Hector as there to make sure the Internet people hook everything up right. Then I work at 5. Now Friday Im relaxing before work. Then back to packin and moving Saturday and Sunday to finish it up and of course cant forget Hectors Sensy Party Saturday. I need all of this done by Sunday so I can finally realx in my own home and not have to stress anymore. Then its a nice easy week or two of decorating and having fun.

I a ready for Matt to come home and its only been a Month. A month almost exactly. Its dragging on. Can I just go to sleep and not wake up till he is here? Baby I have realized how much I need you in my life. I love you and miss you so so much. Be safe and come home soon baby!

Home Sweet Home

Its official! Matthew and I get the keys to our base house Thursday morning! I am more then excited. Any one who talks to me can clearly see this. Im so giddy and cant stop smiling. I love to decorate and have that home feeling and its been 6 months since I had it last. Hopefully by the end of Sunday we will be all moved in and thats when the unpacking and moving furniture over and over and decorating begins. There is still time before the first snow fall for our little puppies to ply outside in their new yard. This is such an amazing feeling! I can not wait for Matt to get home so its all complete! I got home and immediately ordered 'We've Moved!" Cards to send out to our family and friends. I know so lame right! Thanks baby for making me so happy I cant wait till your home again!

Moving while Matts deployed

We should be getting a house on base by the end of the month. I am so excited to be back in my own house and around all my friends again. I have tons of wonderful friends who are going to make this move so easy. Now the one thing that sucks about moving while Matt is deployed is that this is where he was last. Its all him in here. His smell his stuff. I can remember things here.. now Im packing up all of our stuff and moving it to a house he has never been in or seen! Some where I cant remember seeing him stand. I dont like that very much. Welcome home baby this is ur new home, oh and let me show you where your stuff is. Oh and dont get up in the middle of the night before you know your way around the house so you dont run into furniture or walls or fall down the stairs! Sad right? Well that life in the military I guess. But me moving now is whats best for me, for us in the long run. I wont be so darn stressed and crazy anymore.. or at least not so much because who am I kidding? Im always stressed and crazy! I will be at legal and housing bright and early tomorrow and hopefully can have a new home to call my own by this time next week. Fingers crossed!

Spouse BUZZZZ

Michelle and Our 'Roland' of the spouses Hector

Well today was the much talked about Spouses BUZZ event up on base today. I was a little iffy on what it was going to be like but I love getting out and being a part of things and of course seeing my spouses is a big plus! Spouses BUZZ was truly amazing. It was funny, entertaining,and  informational. Mollie Gross, a comedian and the Author of 'Confessions of a Military Wife' was there. She was so funny. Really made the event. We are trying to book her to come out for the 726th return home. Have a night out for our Airman and spouses, dinner and a comedian. It should be wonderful if we get her. Well I bought her book and she signed it for me. Good day all around. Had a blast with friends. Was interviewed on TV  which well what do you know Im getting over my fear of public speaking pretty darn fast! It was a fun day but now I need a nap.

On another note. Matt gave me the ok to move onto base instead of getting a house in town. I really am so happy about that. Houses in decent neighborhoods are alot of money here and its so far from base. Just not worth it. Im ready to be around the people who understand what I go through on a daily bases. Not to mention its close to the gym, hospital, cheap gas, commissary, and BX and Matt can come home for lunch and before sporting events. Before he was packing his bags for his games and leaving at 6am not coming home till after 9 sometimes. Well with two dogs this can be rough. Now if im working he can come let them ot and the days wont seem soo long since he can come home in between things. Overall for Mountain Home its our best deal. Now I just need to figure out when he will let me go get the house and stress over how to move alll the stuff sine he is gone. I have tons of help and it will give me something to do while he is away. I am truly happy that he said yes! Love you baby

John Legend is my buddy today

During this deployment two things have gotten me through each day..well three, My dogs, books, and music. No matter what mood im in I love music. When Im happy, sad, mad, whatever there is all types of music that gets me over whatever Im going through. So during this deployment I have gone through each day with Music on my radio, laptop, or my min when I cant listen to it like at work. I listen to mostly songs that remind me of Matt of course. All those sad songs about their loved ones being away, or happy songs that me and Matt used to listen to together all the time, or the ones he would sing to me in the car rides to Boise. I even listen to the ones I hated that he sang only because I would kill to have him back here singing them at the top of his lungs instead of him being in Iraq. I have made playlist on my Ipod: Deployment 1, Deployment 2 etc. I send those cds to Matt since he cant download music and I listen to them over and over again. Today its John Legend. John Legend is my buddy today. I ave managed to make a playlist dedicated specifically to him. Well besides one song. I burned it and will be sending it to Matthew in his next care package. Why John Legend? Because I remember oe day when me ad Matt were fighting he put a few of his songs on in the car on the way to base and my mood changed almost immediately. It makes me think of him. So here is to you Mr John Legend.. your getting me through today and probably this next week till I move on to someone new.

My dogs are my kids

So as you prolly know Matt and I have no 'human' children YET. I am asked this question all the time being near a military installation where people get married and have children young. I say " well yes two furry ones". Our dogs are our kids and will continue to be our kids even after we have 'human' children. Now back a few weeks ago when I interviewed on the radio I was prepared for the question: "Do you have children?" and I was prepared to answer " Yes sir I do, a 2 1/2 year old mutt and a 6 month old Brown one". Now what response do you think I would have gotten with that answer? A mutt and a brown one? lol LeBron and Maui are our children. We take care of them, raise them, love them, and they love us back. Is that not just like children? Do people not adopt 'human' children just like we adopt pets? Well yes adopting pets is easier then adopting a child but same thing right? They may have big ears, go to the bathroom outside, drink out of the tolite, walk on all fours, and lick your face a little too much but then again so do some peoples children! :) Well Needless to say I treat my dogs, my fur babies, like they are my children because to me they are. They have kept me sane at times when I wanted to go crazy, gave me companionship when I was lonely and have cheered me up in my darkest days. With out them I would be a lost and heart broken woman during this deployment. So yes I think its fair to say that just like if I would if I have a child, I dress them up for holidays take family pictures and mail them out to the relatives . Until I have a child to add to the Christmas cards this is how it will remain! I love my puppies!

Its fading away..

Although I get to see Matt on skype almost everyday, it seems like everything is fading away. I am forgetting what he smells like and what his kisses are like. Its only been 3 weeks and It already feels like its been month since the last time he touched me. How is this gonna be for six long months Im dying for his touch his kisses his smell. I hate this feeling of distance. How do you feel close to someone when they are so far away. How do you keep up a marriage when you cant be together? I guess I better figure it out soon huh? Just come home soon baby! I love you be safe.

Week By Week

I hate to look at this deployment as 6 months. I hate to sit here and think that dang Im not going to see my husband for 6 long months. In fact I hate to think about that fact that he is gone at all. So here I am living week by week. All of us 726th Spouses have tried to plan things as often as we can to keep everyone busy. The Friday after they left we had a meeting and planned for the Air Force Appreciation Day Parade, Saturday was the Parade. Also Friday was the Radio Show. Then last Wednesday was  Key Spouse lunch meeting which was fun. Saturday we went to the Veterans Resource Network with all the spouses to pack care packages for the guys. I packed one for Matt, one for our friend Mowry, and one big one for the other guys who are there. Then after me and Melinda kept busy with lunch and some shopping. This next weekend is the UnBall BBQ. Its for us 726th spouses whos husbands are deployed and can not attend the Ball. We are having a big BBQ. All spouses are invited. Then we are trying to plan stuff for next month also. More care packages pumpkin patches and more. Its much easier to look forward to something week by week than look at it like oh 6 months.... Hopefully this makes it go by faster. I know when It gets around the holidays its gonna go either way. Its gonna go by slow and Im gonna be down that he is away or it will go by really fast and I wont have time to be sad. Lets hope for the first one. This week should hopefully go smoothly. Work hours are different Friday off, No school for a few weeks. The only downer is the multiple doctor appointments and the CT scan on Friday. Man do I wish Matt was home for those.

The most amazing husband in the world... just saying

Well I thought I would write a post about the man that has stolen my heart.  His name is LeBron.... ahahahah JK baby, although my handsome chocolate lab is pretty darn cute. Anyways back to what I was saying, without Matt I guess there would not be a 'Life as a Military Wife' blog because well, I wouldnt be a military wife.
  I have the most amazing husband in the world. He has truly changed my life for the better. I have been through so much in my life and just when I had lost all hope, trust, and faith he came into my life. Matt and I met trough a mutual friend of ours. Lets just say to this day I am thankful for Kenny for this very reason. From the first day I ever saw Matt I knew he was something amazing. He proved me right the first time we actually hung out alone. He is the most handsome man I have ever met, he is funny, charming, sweet,smart, and well just amazing. I honestly can say that I have never met someone like him. In fact it wasnt that I just never met anyone like him its that I honestly thought they didnt exist.I am so thankful that God brought him into my life.

Well baby if you are reading this which Im sure one day you will. I am so thankful for you. You are the love of my life and I dont know what I would do without you. I am so proud of you and what your doing Matt. Not many people have the courage to do what you do everyday.. put up with me. Lol jkjk im talking about sacrificing your life for people you do not even know. We miss you so much back home and can not wait till its all over and you are back here with us. Stay safe Matt and come home soon. I love you so much baby.

Military Appreciation Day Parade

Saturday was Military Appreciation Day. Mountain Home Idaho looks forward to this day all year long so its a huge event for this tiny town. It stars off with a big Parade. All these Veterans, Military personnel, and other organizations design floats. Then there is a contest for best float. Then after in Carl Miller Park There are booths set up and food and games and music. Its really nice. Well since 726th is 90% deployed the wives were the ones that sat in on their float. It was really nice. We had about 5 hummers and spouses and children throwing candy and beads off of them. Well we won the best float contest. It was really fun. I can say that one thing on the good side of Matt being gone, even if this is the only thing, is that I have got to experience things I would never had a chance to such as the live radio interview, the 726th float and Im sure more to come. Here are some pictures fro the parade and our float.

But of course I am still Missing My wonderful amazing husband like crazy..

When does this feeling go away?

Well yesterday I was sad.. then Matt surprised me on skype late last night and that really made my night so much better.. then I slept good for most of the night before I woke up with a horrible nightmare I have had since I was younger and in alot of pain from my knees. So I woke up not so good. Then of course I didnt know If I was going to be able to talk to Matt or not today. I was really sad.. I hate that feeling of being so sad and only wanting to hear from your husband, to have him here to make everything better and you cant. Well as I was writing this he surprised me again and got on skype. I got to see him for the longest since he has been gone. It really is amazing how something so simple can make my day totally flip around. Do I still miss him? Yes like crazy and Im still kinda down but seeing him made it so much better. I love you Matthew Ryan thank you so much for all that you do. Your so good to me. I hope you start feeling better soon. Wish you were here so I could bring you soup and grilled cheese and you can relax in bed and watch movies till your all better again. We miss you here. Stay safe